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I've had a mixed response from my latest post

Sat, 05 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I’ve had a mixed response from my latest post and I get it

If you’ve never heard of ‘energy work’ then you might think it’s unrealistic and not possible for the body to heal itself

I never knew there was another way

The example I shared is one example … there are many many others

This conversation is a big one

There is so much conditioning around illness

Most of us do what we are told

Follow the process that the medical team tell you

There is nothing wrong with that

You do you

I’ve never really done as I’m told

I’ve never really followed the ‘norm’

I’m a bit outside the box

And I always will be

Connecting more deeply with my truth and my body has changed everything

My body leads the way now

And I’m so thankful for this

The Doctors told me there was nothing they could do

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I sat there on the bed and the doctor told me there was nothing he could do

It was incurable and was something that I had to learn to live with

But it's a condition that would only get worse over time and the only way to stop it is to have a hysterectomy

That there were support groups that could help me

I was diagnosed with Adenomyosis - a rare condition of the uterus that was super painful and made me bleed

I left feeling quite distressed and off I popped and joined a few support groups

Within a couple of days, I realised they were not for me, I didn't want this label and I didn't want it to be something that defined me

I knew it had to be energetic so I started to explore this

It was the midst of the memories of my sexual trauma coming back

Memories that had buried in my body for over 20 years

My uterus was reacting to the shame and the violation of my boundaries that I was processing and it made sense to me

I did the energy work and I continued to feel the emotions that were alive in me

No more suppression, no more shutting myself down

Feeling feeling feeling

Investing in myself and my healing journey

Six weeks later I went back for my check-up

I sat back on the bed for another internal scan

The doctor looked confused

He kept looking at the monitor

Then back at my notes

Then back at the monitor

And then he looked at me

It's gone he said looking surprised

It's gone

I said oh I know I've been doing so much energy work

Huh?

I tried to explain but I get it's not something that's really considered in the medical world

The thing is I truly believe and know from my own experiences (and this is one of many that I will share)

Is that conditions of the body are when the body is in dis ease

I believe that all conditions are linked to deep rooted trauma or suppressed emotion that is then trapped in the body

Which causes the disease

The body is communicating with you all the time and these signs are often ignored or masked/managed in some way, which can often feel like you are going around in circles

I have energetically cleared incurable conditions from myself

My clients have been set free from conditions they thought they had to live with forever

It's energy

And when you trust in your body's ability to heal itself anything is possible

The first step is to believe it can happen

If you have a long-term health condition or your body is in dis ease and are ready to explore another powerful way to heal the body, Jget in touch and I can tell you how I can work with you purely 121 or in my new 6-month journey

Big Love Beautiful Souls xx

✨ ✨ I'm coming out - Part 5 ✨ ✨

Sat, 22 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT

In the last two years , I’ve had three people transition through me after they’ve died

I embodied the pain they’ve felt in this life so they can heal and be free to move into the light and it’s been the most overwhelming experiences of my life

I know this may sound crazy to some of you, I’m still getting my head round it, it blows my mind some days

When I’ve been in it, it’s taken over my body, I’ve screamed cried, spoken in their voices, been sick and been in bed for days

These are emotions that were squashed so fucking deep that they dared to tell a soul

The pain they never wanted to feel which caused Dis ease in the body and made them sick

Or pain that felt to much they took their own life because it was unbearable

I’ve been asking what does this have to do with my purpose here on this Planet?

It’s becoming clearer by the day

Too many of us are getting sick because of the emotions we are not expressing

Because of our deepest truths that we dare to admit

I don’t want you to bury the stuff that hurts because you think you can’t be free from it

What makes me so powerful, is I see what you can’t see

I see and the feel the pain that you can’t face on your own

I hold your hand and I show you how

I can hold you in whatever needs to be expressed

This is why I am here

What I do isn’t sexy but I work with sexual energy which is your life force energy, it’s what brought you into the world and keeps you alive and has so much potency to take you to another dimension

I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, It’s fucking hard but I promise you it will move with ease when you give it permission too

most people never go there

But it never goes, even in death

One day you’ll heal it so why wait?

And live your life embodying the truth of who you are and why you are here

If you are ready and this speaks to your soul

Know that I’m here for it all

I’m fucking powerful and I am here to show you how to really step into the person you were born to be

Last week, in the midst of lovemaking, I asked for it to stop...

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Last week, in the midst of lovemaking, I asked for it to stop

For Mark to stop touching me

It took me a while to find the words

In the minutes before that I was feeling really confused

I had gone from being deep in pleasure with my man

To being taken back to a time in my life when I was being abused

But that was pleasurable too

So much shame was arising in me

To acknowledge that my abuser was giving me pleasure

I knew something didn’t feel right, I wasn’t allowed to speak

I was confused how something could feel good but also feel so scary

I cried for my little girl that had no idea she was being taken advantage of

She thought that was love

And she craved love so much, to be noticed

I cried for my body that had held on to this shame for so many years

I cried because I knew something wasn’t right

I asked Mark to hold me and tell me I was safe

I know what I need now

I surrender into what the body is asking for

The body is so powerful and knows exactly what it needs, if you listen

I squashed down these feelings so often in my life

So many times in the past, I told that part of me to be quiet

I thought that silencing myself was healing me

Because the thought of feeling the pain felt too much

My little girl isn’t silenced anymore

I give her space to speak

I let her process whatever she wants

Even if it’s not at the most 'convenient' times

It’s when she is ready

My little girl is sending love to your little girl

I see you

I feel you

I love you

I'm holding you close

The Embodiment of my truth hasn't been easy

Wed, 19 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT

The Embodiment of my truth hasn't been easy, It continues to shake me to my core

It’s taken me to depths of myself that I never knew

I've wished that I was numb again

Yet I’ve also celebrated being awakened and feeling all of me

I've hurt those I love

But knew I had to follow what is true

I'm done with being the person that others say I should be

I'm done with fitting the mould

I'm done with just making do

I am here to embody my truth

And live the life that I was born too

Will this be painful and messy? YES

Will it be pleasurable? FUCK YES

Will it make me feel ALIVE and make the most of every fucking day on this planet? YES YES YES

Embodying your truth is a choice

It’s not for everyone

Some choose to run from the truth

And others choose to lean in and discover more of themselves

If you are done playing small and ready to dance with power and light that is beyond the comprehension of what you know now

Email me, my new 6-month container may just be what you are looking for

Not sure if you realised but I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

Wed, 12 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Not sure if you realised but I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

To lift the vibration of this planet to another level!

This week I came back fully into my body again … I’ve been in a fog for a while but now I know why..

I had to rest

Because my fucking goodness do I have some magical work to do

I have been in labour all week - birthing soooo much through my being

I can feel the shift

It’s pulsating through every cell of my body

Can you see how excited I am?!

Watch this space beauties - did I mention I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

My Big 3am Wake Up!

Sun, 09 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT

One of the biggest AHAS that I’ve had since my 3am wake up is:

GET YOUR BUTT ON MORE STAGES! YOU WERE BORN FOR IT!!

I LOVE to take beautiful beings on a journey

To get out of the head and let go of what they think they should be doing and instead

To let the BODY lead the way and

EMBODY what is alive in them even if it feels uncomfortable

That is where the MAGIC is

To step into their POWER of who they are really are

To LIVE In TRUTH - unapologetically

I love to do this LIVE and I’m on a mission to get on more stages this year because my goodness do I give a good show

So whether it’s running a rage ritual, $exual energy activation or a power ritual

Part of my MAGIC is I know what people need to hear, I don’t need to prep, I FEEL it

I’m BORN for the stage darlings, BORN FOR IT and the people that experience my magic

Will NEVER forget me and it will change their life forever

I would love you to hit me up with any organisers or stages you think may LOVE some of the magic darlings

Pic is me at latitude … my goodness that was a powerful weekend of adapting to a new audience but they were blown away!

✨ ✨ I'm coming out - Part 4 ✨ ✨

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMT

My journey to Goa was at the beginning of the world going crazy and after cancelled planes and mayhem, I arrived late for my journey to master my pleasure

I’d woken up my sexual energy and been on a crazy journey exploring this but I knew I was holding back in my own pleasure, I was afraid of my power, of what was possible within me

Like with all week-long containers I attend, it was edgy and I’d had a banging headache that wouldn’t budge and was driving me crazy.

I did an embodiment practice connecting to my energy body and moving energy through, I started to shake, my head started to move frantically from side to side and I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I could see it so clearly, I was being held down and I was being raped, all I could see were faces flashing up in my eyes as I moved the trauma through my body

I’d experienced something like this before in my own journey but I knew this wasn’t mine

Then all of a sudden, I felt my back arch and I rose from my body and saw myself connecting into the light, to consciousness

I remember feeling this sense of peace all over my body as I felt the light beam in to me

Then I came back to the room, I couldn’t really make sense of what happened and it took a while for me to feel fully in my body - I wasn’t really back for some time

That night, I couldn’t sleep and as I tossed and turned, I felt a presence in the room, I thought I must be dreaming and then I was told very clearly

This isn’t just about you

It’s for the women that never had a voice

All those that came before you

That never had the power to heal from their trauma and the times their No wasn’t heard

You are doing it for them too

On the days where I want to run away

I remind myself of this day

I remind myself of the power I have to heal myself and the collective, both here and those that have past

Sometimes it feels like a huge responsibility but it’s why I show up

It’s always bigger then you … always

It took me a while to integrate what happened in Goa, it was the first time, I realized that I was part of something greater than me and I’m sharing with you because I want you to know that too

To be Continued….

✨✨ I'm coming out - Part 3 ✨✨

Wed, 14 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMT

When I was little, my mum used to tell me a lot that I was special

She used to share with me the stories of her own spiritual journey and that I had guides and angels watching over me

I used to raise my eyebrows and honestly thought she was a bit doolally

I knew before I arrived in the world that my mum had experienced some miscarriages, she remembers the night I was conceived so clearly

She felt herself rise from the bed, seeing herself below, she felt the hand of something on her shoulder but she was too scared to look around.

The voice told her not to worry and that everything would be ok now

She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later

Another story she shared was when she was 8 months pregnant, whilst making dinner, she slipped on some water in the kitchen and as she fell, she grabbed the oven and as it fell towards her, the pan of boiling potatoes slid to the back of oven

Another time, at the traffic lights whilst taking me to school, the lights turned red and just as she was about to cross, a voice told her to pull me back, just as a motorbike sped through the red light

So many things like this happened in my childhood and my mum said she always knew I’d be a spiritual soul and my angels were always looking out for me

I never understood or wanted to accept that I was spiritual until the last few years, I think it really began when I experienced my own out-of-body experience

This happened in 2020 during a retreat in Goa and it was an experience that I will never forget and it was the catalyst for a HUGE ascension into the spiritual world.

To be Continued…

✨ ✨ I'm coming out - Part 2 ✨ ✨

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMT

The hours that followed the spiritualist church were a whirlwind

I had so many messages to share, that I definitely wasn’t present at Mark’s friend’s party and spent most of the time on the phone

In the past, I always told myself that mediums and psychics were con artists and that they never really knew anything, they just picked up on things you said

On that day, I purposely tried to say nothing but it didn’t matter because everything she was saying didn’t make sense to me

But after, when I delivered the messages, it made more sense

I just kept saying OMG, this must be true

You cannot deny this Kerry

This isn’t something she made up

OMG, There must be a life after this one

I always thought how can there be a god if so many people I loved were taken so young

But in that moment I realised there maybe there was more after this life, that the spirits and angels my mums always told me about did exist

This was just over 6 years ago…

I thought that was the start of my deepest spiritual journey, turns out it started the night I was conceived

To be continued… there is so much more to come

✨ I’m coming out – Part One ✨

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMT

6 years ago, I handed in my notice to a job I loved, but the call was so strong, there is something more

That night, I felt sick, was I really leaving my 15-year career on an inner knowing?

The following day, just after my morning PT session, I was standing outside my house and I was feeling panicked when my dear friend Helen invited me to a spiritualist church event that day

I already had plans to go to one of Mark’s friend’s birthday lunches

But I knew I had to go

Mark wasn’t impressed but I promised him I would be back at 2pm, I was hoping for a sign that will tell me I am on the right path

When I arrived at the church, it was buzzling with people, mediums and healers

The next appointment available was 2pm
I hesitated for a moment, thinking of my promise to Mark but knew I had to have it

I sat down with the medium and she looked me straight in the eyes and told me she has someone here that had been here all day, was he for me?

A beautiful soul, a handsome chap

As soon as she started to speak, I knew exactly who it was

It was one of my friends brothers

He had a lot to say, most of it made no sense to me, but I sat that absorbing every word like a sponge because I knew I was meant to

Some of the things he said was so specific, so detailed I knew it was him and he knew me – I was in a state of shock

After she finished, it was 3pm, I got up, rushed to say bye to Helen, I was crying my eyes out, and belted it to the train station…whilst recording everything on my phone so I didn’t forget as I knew I had to share it with his family

Until that point, I had never really believed it was true, that there really was a life after this one and it was only a few weeks ago, that the penny dropped, I did receive a sign that day, it was a huge gift and the start of my deeper spiritual journey

And what happened next, blew my mind

To be continued…

Lost Desire - How to connect with your spark

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 00:00:00 GMT

EEK!! I’m excited to share my latest article with Frank Magazine ✨ ✨ ✨

It’s all about Lost Desire and how you can reignite your spark in life, in your relationships and with YOU ��

Click here to read the article. Enjoy beautiful souls ❤️

This is how I step into my greatness

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 00:00:00 GMT

This is what stepping up looked like for me this morning

I pushed through some moments the last 24 hours where I wanted to scream, shout and burst into tears but just got on with it

And then it caught up with me this morning in the middle of a town centre so I went to the toilets and let it all out … well as much as I could in a town centre toilets!

I’m posting because I want you to know that not all sweetness and light for me

It’s raw

It’s fucking hard sometimes

But I surrender to it all because I know that it will move

It already has …

By allowing myself to break down

Even when it consumes me

This is how I step into my greatness

By being all of me ✨

Other pic is me ten mins after posting - dancing between the dark and the light is my world, thank you for all the love darling ones

I really am ok ✨ ��

I used to feel so uncomfortable with being naked

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Well that was a first for me - today I spent the afternoon on a nudist beach with the beautiful Sophie Cleere

I found it quite funny that I’d never been especially when I’m such a huge advocate of being comfortable in your own skin and I spend a lot of time in naked spaces in the sacred sexuality world

I used to feel so uncomfortable with being naked and I’m definitely finding more peace everyday with accepting me as I am in this very moment and my wish is that everyone can feel like this - it’s a journey for sure

It felt so beautifully freeing to just be - no restrictions and at peace with my body and well swimming in the sea is extra gorgeous without clothes anyway

A beautifully lush day - I rather enjoyed it! ❤️

Consciously with love

Thu, 19 May 2022 00:00:00 GMT

11.5 years of loving this man, but also of resisting his love

To trying to be fiercely independent and feeling like I couldn’t be both

To feeling safe so I could expand and grow as an individual

To losing each other, drifting further apart

To finding each other again

To finding our way of relating

Consciously with love

With passion

With the rawness that comes from living in truth of who you are moment by moment

Not hiding

Not running away

Being me because that’s who I am

It’s who he is too

Two people

Different ways of relating, different ways of being

Meeting in love

What a journey and one I wouldn’t change for the world and it’s continuing every single day

That’s why I love working with couples because it’s not easy relating, but it’s finding a way that you can both be you and still grow together

After the most phenomenal pilot of my Conscious Couples Journey, The doors have opened for the next wave of beautiful couples to take this magical step in their relationship …

If you’d like to know more - email me or let me know below and I’ll pop you the details ❤️ ✨

I’m so glad I never kept running

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Wow Five years ago - I remember this day so well

I had a VIP day with the gorgeous Yvette

I remember admitting out loud about the two sides to me - the holistic Mumma who was so ‘normal’ and also this wild Sexual Goddess side that I had discovered during meditation and was fuelled with so much shame

We explored this some more and discovered that I was only 5 when I discovered sexual energy and at the grand old age of 37, had tried to suppress this in me my entire life but had no idea why

When I left my career and went into silence, my body woke up and it was trying to get my attention

Consciously, I had no idea that I had experienced trauma from such a young age but my body did

I also had no idea that how I felt about sex and my body wasn’t how it was supposed to be

My body held onto this for over 30 years

This day was hugely significant because we absolutely did discover the real me that day

I tried to run away so many times after this as my memories started to flood back - even in this picture I can tell I was holding on still

But I’m so glad I never kept running

I would never have thought 5 years ago that I’d have published my own book and be on national TV tonight Talking about the power of sexual healing

Wow wow wow ✨✨✨✨✨

I will be forever grateful to Yvette Taylor , Camilla Baker my mediation teacher , Gayatri Beegan my first ever Tantra teacher and to all the other inspirational teachers, friends and my man Mark Hawkins that have held my hand through the rollercoaster of the last five years

And to my clients who have put their trust in me for their own healing journey - so thankful for you ❤️

I wonder what will be in store next ��

Give her what she needs

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I did what I thought was right

I tried not to cry

I remained ‘strong’ and did what had to be done

I spoke to everyone I had too

Looked after everyone I thought needed it

I said I was ‘fine’

I got on with things because that’s what you did back then

You said you were fine even though things were not fine

Even though inside you wanted everything to stop

You told your friends you were fine too

Because that’s what you did back then

That was strong wasn’t it?

To pretend that you were fine

You did what was important and you moved on

Way too quickly

I done this time and time again

That’s the thing with trauma

If you don’t feel what’s there as and when it arises it doesn’t actually go anywhere

You might be telling yourself your fine

You might have had a cry and decided you’ve felt it all

But the body keeps the memory

You may never choose to go there but maybe one day you’ll decide that it’s ok not to pretend anymore

It’s ok to let it go

To go to the depths of that feeling

It’s ok not to be fine

My little girl has been with me this week, the events of last weekend processing through me

I did what had to be done

I spoke to who I had to speak too

I looked after everyone involved

I processed what happened and I took a huge lesson but I wasn’t ready to feel it all just yet

This week I’ve been in touch with my little girl

She has been so scared that this guy might come and find her

I’ve given her lots of love and nourished her soul

I’ve slept days in bed

I’ve cried

I’ve screamed

I’ve shouted

I’ve watched light hearted tv

I’ve reached out for support

I’ve acknowledged the little Kerry in me

Whilst still being an amazing mum myself and holding mine close

I feel so much lighter now I’ve let it all move but wanted to share this message with you all as it’s important

You never know when things will come up

When something in the present triggers something from your past

But when it does - give that part of you, the little one in you some love

Give her what she needs

It doesn’t matter how old you are, your inner child is with you all the time

Waiting to be heard

To be held

To be loved

To be told that she is safe

To know that you are there ❤️

Feeling So Blessed

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Feeling so blessed and Just a little bit excited tonight after my first call in my new Goddess Awakening Membership

From a crazy download driving along a country road, to changing my whole business model, to 40 gorgeous beings saying YES to themselves, to the unknown, to the journey that is going to Unfold

They have come from across the globe tuning in from the U.K, Canada, USA, Germany, Sweden and Australia to name but a few

Wow wow wow

This is SO huge because it was another leap of faith not just for me but for everyone that joined - so much magic to come this year and it’s means everything to me

Bring it on!!!

(And if you're interested in becoming part of this beautiful membership, join the waiting list here and I'll let you know when the doors open again later this year )

I never knew...

Sun, 13 Feb 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I never knew that I could say no

I never knew that wasn’t love

I never knew it was ok to feel uncomfortable

I never knew that feeling disgusting wasn’t how it was meant to be

I never knew that yearning to be loved was because I never loved myself

I never knew that I could say this isn’t ok

I never knew what ok felt like

I never knew that you would hold on to this for so long

I never knew how to listen to you

I’m so sorry

I’m listening now

I’ll always listen

I see you

I feel you so deeply

I’m not the same girl anymore but I’m holding her close

She never knew

But she knows now

And that to me is everything

Pure love, unconditionally ��✨

New beginnings

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Took this gorgeous picture in my garden this morning ~ it’s a special day in the Celtic calendar, a celebration of Imbolc marking the official start to spring

The days are getting lighter and nature’s energy is moving towards new life forming

It’s the perfect day to start cleaning out the old, letting go of the past to make space for new beginnings

The day also honours Brigid, the beautiful fiery Celtic goddess, a healer, goddess of the fire and sun bringing fertility

I’m feeling alive in my soul this morning, a bubble of excitement is running through me as I’m spending the day getting content ready for my new Goddess Awakening Membership - it’s going to a beautiful magical container to let go, to surrender to the depths of your soul ��

Learning to accept all parts of me

Sat, 29 Jan 2022 00:00:00 GMT

This morning I looked in the mirror and said ooh I love my grey hair today - I’m going to pin a bit back so it’s out out!

I can’t tell you how refreshing it feels to fully let go of the stories I placed on myself about why I should never embrace my grey

Pinching myself so much for the continual journey to accept all parts of me - it really is a deep journey of self love and that’s why I love to teach all the tools you need to keep listening to you and accepting you just the way you are ❤️

Being a Goddess

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Being a goddess is about loving you no matter what

It’s about being in your workout clothes and still feeling sexy

It’s about learning to embrace every part of you - wrinkles, grey hair, extra weight, the times you want to run away because all of them are you

It’s about feeling content and never looking outside of yourself for validation because you are enough

It’s about feeling free in your body and not trying to change it in every which way you can and still feeling crap

It’s about not continually buying stuff for yourself to fill a void, to make you happy and realising you need nothing else but you

It’s an inner peace and a calm in you that flows through life and knows that every time there is a bump, there is a learning and you are growing

every single minute of the day

It’s more then all of that

It’s a life of fullness

It’s divine love for yourself and Life itself

It’s freedom in every sense of the word

It’s permission to be YOU

Unapologetically

To every single part of your life

Your life

Your dreams

Your pleasure

YOU in all it’s magic and vibrancy

✨✨✨✨

Embracing my truth changed everything

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I spent years in counseling, psychotherapy, CBT, you name it I did it.

I always knew I needed to be healed in some way because when I stopped, I hated it, I wanted to keep busy all the time even though I was exhausted.

I know all the therapy I had played a role in my journey but what changed the game for me and revealed the truth of what my body was holding on to was bringing my awareness to what was alive in me now, not talking over and over the same things that distressed me - to work with the now, what was happening in me now

What was I saying to myself?

What did I feel?

When I stopped going over and over the stories

I discovered I didn't like myself very much

I felt the emotions that I was underneath all the noise

I remembered my past

I think it's important to acknowledge where you have been but don't get lost in it

How do you feel now - what is here now?

I know from my experience that bringing everything here will move you forward - without pushing

There is no rush - embrace this moment, embrace your truth today ��

It’s ok to feel what you feel

Sat, 01 Jan 2022 00:00:00 GMT

I thought I’d let this go after all the work I’ve done

I thought I was done with healing this part of you

I thought I’d said everything I wanted to say

I thought I’d never feel this way again

But here I am

Feeling the rawness of that day

Of all the times when my no wasn’t honoured

But I’m not running away

I promised Myself I would never shut you down

I promised myself I would let you speak

I promised I would keep you safe

To do whatever you needed to heal yourself

To move this energy through me

It’s ok to feel what you feel

I’ve got you

Holding you close

I’m listening

You are so loved dear one

This too shall pass

Surrender into the darkness my darling

Your light will shine again

This is the work ❤️✨

Let’s talk Fear

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Fear has been a huge part of my year and although I have all the tools to release and let it go, I knew I had to feel it first and my god have I felt it

Fear is the lowest vibration of all the emotions with love being the highest and there is so much fear in the world right now and if you let it consume you it can look like this:

Fear makes you feel like you can’t breathe
Like you can’t cope
Like you’ll never ever feel better again
It makes you feel on edge in the heights of despair
It can choke you and make you feel paralysed to the spot
Stuck in your mind and in your body

But only if you let it

This year fear took over my body, I manifested headaches that made me feel I had a brain tumour, it took me to hospital when my body bled because I was so scared of my book being out and my story being shared in the world and again when I was filmed for channel 4 and would represent me in the light I deserved

It left me gasping for breath

It made me feel like I was dying when I got told I had cancer

It disconnected me from my purpose, from my soul and at times I totally lost myself in it

But when I surrendered to it, acknowledged it for what it was, I felt it move

✨ I let it breathe

✨ The words that wanted to be expressed were screamed out

✨ I admitted I was scared

✨ I embodied it through my breath and through dance

✨ I felt it

✨ I really felt it

✨ It moved

In the last few weeks I have felt such a gorgeous connection with my body as the fear is moving

I’ve made decisions that put me and my body first

I have connected to love and to my inner strength that totally has my back

Are you letting fear consume you or can you give yourself permission to acknowledge and feel it so it passes and so you can connect to the real essence in you and connect to love

Love always wins if you let it ❤️

I’m going to be on that stage one day

Sun, 12 Dec 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I looked at the stage at the 02 tonight and said I’m going to be on that stage one day ✨

Everyone laughed, maybe this feels like an out of reach dream to some - but I know it will happen one day so as the 12th day of December (12:12) comes to an end… I’m manifesting it right here!

I’m pretty good at manifesting ✨

This year I said I’d write a best selling book and be on TV (and well it happened - OMG!!) ��

So I’ll pop this one out there too because I know the power in believing in your dreams and that’s a HUGE one of mine

Does anyone else have this dream?

I have a vision of doing something pretty special, that will raise the Vibration of 20,000 people all at once and I’m going to start speaking about this more and more and let’s see the magic unfold ✨✨✨✨

I couldn’t believe how it flowed

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Omg - something pretty exciting happened last night

When I was younger, I used to love writing songs, I remember sitting on my till at Safeway and scribbling lyrics on the back of till receipts, I’ve always loved singing my heart out to them

One of my dreams is to learn to play the guitar (this is me pretending years ago!)- it’s not clicking at the moment but I’m determined to nail it one day

And after spending the morning with the gorgeous Rebecca Warwick and listening to her singing, I remembered how much I used to love it and it totally inspired my creative juices

Last night after a very hot Goddess bath and full of cold, I popped to bed and was writing in my journal and then….

I only when and wrote my first song in years and it literally jumped onto the page in minutes - I couldn’t believe how it flowed

I’m so excited because I think it has potential to be a good song and is connected to why I jump out of bed every day

Watch this space beauties - Kerry the guitar playing singer song writer will be coming atcha one day soon!! Hee hee!!

A deep dive into the soul

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I can’t believe that it was nearly two weeks ago that I finished the ISTA experience - a deep dive into the soul it most certainly was

I hold space everyday with my clients and so familiar with this work yet there is always more - always

I love week long containers where I can totally immerse myself into my body and let the magic unfold with trust and surrender to all that arises

It was so profound and expansive on some many levels that I don’t really have many words yet, just to send my love and so much gratitude to every soul I journeyed with, the assistants who rocked it on so many levels and to the phenomenal facilitators Elaine Yonge Bynoi Desouza and Nimai SunRa Lev Shalem for sharing this work and their gorgeous magic which I am still feeling so deeply

I feel so blessed to be in this world and wow what a picture of pure love and gorgeousness

Dance between the dark and the light

Sat, 20 Nov 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Life is a dance between the dark and the light and to say I’ve been to the heights of euphoria to the depths of despair in the last 6 weeks is an understatement

Six weeks ago, the day after the channel 4 show went out, I was on such a high, I was so relieved but also so proud of my presence here on this earth, my book and now TV, wow.

Off I popped full of joy in my heart to an appointment with my dermatologist about my biopsy on my heart mole and with sad eyes, he gave me a skin cancer diagnosis, within 15 mins, I was examined, given a macmillian booklet, next procedure booked and was introduced to my Macmillian nurse who said she was there to support me with my diagnosis - WTAF!!

I felt like my world was spinning, I felt so sick and confused, I just couldn’t get my head around my diagnosis and how it was handled

Three weeks later I found lumps on both breasts and was urgently referred to the breast clinic

I have been praying so hard and have screamed at the universe that I am not done here yet, what the hell is going on?

The truth is I’m scared of cancer, having lost three people my age to it and knowing so many people effected, I never wanted to hear those words, ever

I’ve just had a mammogram and ultrasound this morning and the lumps are clear, Thank the lord

Next procedure is in two weeks around my scar to check the cells are clear, but today I’m taking a big breath and trusting in the journey of life

These last 6 weeks certainly took the wind out of my sails but today I feel like the lucky one.

I’m sharing this today because I want to highlight the importance of:

Spending time with your body and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t delay, get it checked out

If you feel that your body is a no to something, say no, ask questions , do what you need to make yourself feel informed and to make you feel safe

Dance between the dark and the light and always keep that connection to you, to all of you, feel what’s there and know you are never alone, there is so much love around you

I’ve said it time and time again and I’ll say it some more

You never ever know what card you are going to be dealt with next - live your fucking life

* Picture by the gorgeous Katrina Festorazzi x

Unleash your Sexual Power, Frank Magazine

Sun, 07 Nov 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Back in September, I reached out to the gorgeous Melanie Sykes , Editor in Chief of Frank and said I’d love to talk to her about my mission in this world.

I loved everything Frank stood for and it’s intention to inspire and ignite the warrior woman you are and that you really can do anything you like in life when you believe in it and believe in you.

I felt this so deeply and is fundamental in the work I share in the world

Both being women on an absolute mission to raise the vibration of this planet, I was not surprised when we met, that we would hit it off and I am very excited to share my interview with Melanie and what I know will be first of many features in Frank - I am so excited to be a very small part of this movement and to share this with you … Eek!!

Click here to read the interview

I will never ignore myself EVER again

Sat, 16 Oct 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Learning to feel pain has been one of the hardest part of becoming the embodied person that stands here today

Only five years ago, I was so numb but had absolutely no idea and when I started to wake up and remember my past trauma, all I wanted to do was squash it all back down again – I wanted to hide under a duvet and run away from it all, to carry on ignoring my body cries to just be listened to

I get how hard it is to run away from your pain and when you keep yourself busy so there is no time to feel

I get that it’s overwhelming to think that maybe you’ll never cope if you go there and feel everything that is trying to get your attention

I don’t only get it, I have been there and stuff comes up for me all the time

The difference now is that I let it move, I feel it, I don’t hide, I listen, I express the emotion whether it sadness, anger or the most gorgeous pleasure

Someone said to me this week that I am all over the place at the moment because some days I might be sad, in tears and low in energy and other days I’m bouncing off the walls in the upmost happiness

I pondered on it and came to the conclusion that YES I am all over the place and that’s because I am an energetic goddess that is ALIVE, I feel everything now which means emotions move quickly though me

I will 100% take being alive, feeling free and feeling everything over being numb because I live to be alive now

Life is so fucking short and I am continually being reminded how precious life is

I will never ignore myself EVER again – the pain, the pleasure, I will feel all of it

This is the life of an embodied goddess

Darling, if this is speaking to you and you are ready to start listening to all of you and give your body permission to feel so you connect more fully to life and to every moment you have on this planet, get in touch. The Goddess Awakening starts in just over a week and I would love to hold your hand for the next three months on a journey to embrace all that you are and all that you are becoming

A Goddess awakened

Sun, 10 Oct 2021 00:00:00 GMT

A Goddess awakened is empowered, she leans into everything that arises in her because she knows on the other side is the deepest embodied pleasure that awakes every cell of her body

She is confident, powerful and full of orgasmic pleasure that ripples across every area of her life

She leads with her needs because she knows she is worthy of ALL the love in her life

The Goddess awakening starts on the 25th October and is a three month deep dive journey into the soul, A beautifully held journey to awaken the goddess within you, to surrender into everything that is yearning to be expressed whilst opening up to more love, pleasure and abundance into your life

What I teach here is the work that I have been doing over the last five years that took me from the depths of despair and full of shame around who I was to feeling unstoppable, full of orgasmic energy and the powerful woman I have become.

I have so much passion for showing every woman on this planet how to connect to the goddess within her because it will:

❤️ Help set you free from anything that is stopping you from embracing all that you are

❤️ Release shame and guilt to you owning your sexual POWER

❤️ Give you the permission to be unapologetically YOU in EVERYTHING

❤️ Unleash your deepest desires connecting you to pleasure in all its forms

❤️ Connect you to the beauty and expansion in your body

❤️ Reclaim the connection to your body, to your pussy power that is all YOURS

❤️ Deeply connect you with other women and the power of belonging to a sisterhood

❤️ Transform your relationships and positively impact every single area of your life

My darling if this is speaking to you, drop me a DM and I can tell you more, we start in two weeks and there are only 12 spaces.

You will rise again stronger, so much stronger than you'll ever know.

Sat, 09 Oct 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I was sent this today by someone that had watched the documentary and my goodness it was the perfect quote to read in that very moment.

None of us have life sorted beautiful ones - life throws you bumps in the road all the time when you least expect it and you know why? Because there is a learning in everything and because it’s part of your path - I know sometimes you think, how the hell can there be a learning in this-and why now? There is always some wisdom, something that will enrich your soul

Something I always tell myself even in the depths of despair is to TRUST and to lean into LOVE - there is so much love all around us if we let ourselves FEEL it - feel it all even the anger, the sadness, the why me - feel it all and come back to love, to trust, to knowing

You will rise again stronger, so much stronger than you'll ever know.

Posting this for anyone else that needs to here this right now ❤️

I knew they saw the power in this work, but most importantly they felt it and that was everything to me

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 00:00:00 GMT

OMG - my dream of being on TV will be reality tomorrow and look at this gorgeous image they've just sent of myself and Alice complete with my gorgeous yoni cushion Penelope!

My goodness what a journey:

Many have asked me - how did you get this opportunity - they found me through google and I wasn't paid. Think they were over the moon that not only had they’d found someone who had just finished her book but working with women to heal trauma and connect them to their sexual power, to their truth and was unapologetic about it too

I was so ready but lots to navigate:

✨ Firstly, my gorgeous Mark, he had just got his head round being in the book and then I was like - how do you feel about being on TV? He was an absolute NO. Let’s just say after lots of negotiations he held my hand through it all and was interviewed too ��

✨ Then I was crippled with fear, could I really put my trust in them to represent me in the light I wanted it to be received?

✨ Day 1 of filming I was sick, I was so scared, not to tell my truth but how they would edit me? I had no control over what would happen especially in the session with my client

✨ This fear engulfed me, this wasn’t just about me, I was representing my industry, I ended up in hospital, this all happened a week before the second day of filming. I threw myself into healing me, got support from my beautiful teachers and coaches and aligning to trust that all will be ok

✨ The second day of filming was so powerful. I’ve never had anyone in the room with me filming and witnessing my work and my clients experience but they were witnesses and just that, my focus was my client and at the end as the session closed, I could see they were moved to tears

I knew they saw the power in this work, but most importantly they felt it and that was everything to me

Tomorrow night, you will see a summary of the journey Alice went on, two long days of filming into just over 11 minutes in the documentary

Yes, I am excited and I am so proud of myself, mark and my client and friend Claire Standen for taking this HUGE leap of faith and trust in what I feel will open the eyes of millions (OMG!) that watch it into a small insight into this phenomenal healing modality

So Tomorrow Night - 10pm Channel 4 - Sex Actually – who will be watching with me?

I’m not lost... Just undiscovered.

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I’m not lost

Just undiscovered

Omg yesterday I listened to James Morrison’s undiscovered for the first time in years and it took me right back to a time in my life

I was staying in a beautiful chateau in France with my gorgeous friend Nicky. Her beautiful parents had just bought this place and it took our breath away as we drove up to it, it was stunning. we stayed for a week and it felt like I’d checked into the priory as it was so beautifully nourishing on so many levels

Two months before that my husband had just left me, I was on the floor and not knowing how I would ever cope again

I was in a career that I loved but I always felt like I wasn’t being seen for my potential and I was most definitely hiding behind a whole barrage of limiting beliefs that I wasn’t good enough and in fear of what the hell would happen next

Over the week, We drank a lot of wine, we cried, we laughed and I was surrounded by so much love from my gorgeous Geordie family and as the week went on, I started to feel like maybe I would be ok

I remember singing this song in the kitchen literally screaming our hearts out

Screaming to God, the Universe , whoever would listen

You may think I wanna run and hide

I keep it all locked up inside

I just want you to find me

I’m not lost, I’m just undiscovered

If you dig a little deeper you will find me

I’m not lost, I’m just undiscovered

My god, hasn’t life taken a massive you turn - I feel like I’m on the clasp of a huge up levelling in my life (did I mention I’m going to be in TV in two weeks? ��) and I look back at myself just 12 years ago and I just wanna cuddle her in my arms and tell her to trust, it really will be ok

You will find your passion

You will find your purpose

You are not lost

You are just undiscovered

If this speaks to you where you are right now, let me tell you this

Trust my darling

Trust that everything will be ok ✨ ❤️

Everything that is sent to us is because it’s part of our path, our lesson in life, you’ve got this darling

And if you fancy belting this song out, here's the link ❤️

What is your body asking for this morning?

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Have you said hello to your body this morning yet and asked for what it needs?

Getting to know my body, listening to it and meeting it has been life changing for me - I call this embodiment and as you wake up scrolling through FB this morning, I'm wondering whether you have checked in with yourself today.

�� Embodiment is about connecting to your body and feeling what's there

��It’s about giving yourself permission to feel Everything , even when it hurts

��When you let go of all the things you tell yourself you can’t or shouldn’t feel

�� When you say yes to your body, something magic happens - Your body starts to relax and release itself , you let go of any thoughts that stop you and your body starts to lead the way

��Your body loves to show itself to you, It never lies and the more you connect, the more sensations you start to feel , it could be goose bumps, a shiver, a warmth like someone is holding you in their arms

When you begin to trust your body, you stop ignoring the pain and instead you start to listen with compassion and the best bit, you meet it

❤️ So if your body says please rest and don't go to the gym today, you listen and you don't

✨ If you body wants to move, stretch, bounce around and dance it's socks off, you blast up the tunes and you move your butt!

❤️ If it's full of frustration and anger and wants to scream from the rooftops - you do it and don't care about the noise you are making

✨ If your body says, I really need to relax - you might run a nice hot bath or book a massage

❤️ If it says, ooh Id like to be touched, you take time and squeeze or stroke it

so many ways, we can get in our bodies...

Embodiment has changed everything for me and my clients physically and energetically , it is a game changer

And if you are ready and open , will set you free from your mind, will let go of pain, numbness and connect you to so much pleasure

And the best bit, is it quick and when you say YES, the energy in your body moves and expands quickly because it knows you are listening

So you can go from feeling intense, stressed and like the world is against you to feeling euphoric, orgasmic and alive in every cell of your body in minutes

So what is your body asking for this morning? Go on ask it

In The Goddess Awakening , my signature 12 week journey, the embodiment sessions are fundamental in the growth and expansion in YOU.

Over the 12 weeks, I'll lead you on 12 delicious embodiment sessions where you will explore all of you, we express rage, anger, laughter, love, whatever arises, a beautiful breast ritual, womb healing - so so so much connection to your body and I'll introduce you to embodiment tools that will change your life forever.

Get in touch if you'd like to know more and until then

Check in with your body now, before you scroll any further xx

Sex, Actually

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT

��OMFG it’s now official �� ��

After months of having to keep this quiet, I can FINALLY share I am going to be on:

Sex Actually with Alice Levine

Channel 4.

Weds 6th Oct. 10pm (It starts next Wed 22nd at 10pm and not to be missed!)

This is FUCKING huge on so many levels and I will share more soon about that but my show is the last one of three in the series and all about SEXUAL HEALING and the wonderful work I do in the world and why this is so important to me.

Alongside my gorgeous client and friend Claire Standen and the wonderful Jem Ayres and other wonderful people in the documentary we are looking to lift the taboo and shame around sex and this phenomenal work that has set so many free including me

I think I’m going to have a watch party and celebrate on the night and may also be balling my eyes out - no idea yet! Wanna come?

Things are never going to change unless you start listening to your truth and start putting yourself first

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I know how it feels to keep yourself so busy that you shut down your mind so you never have space to think or feel

There are many reasons you can do this, and believe me, I know as I have done it too:

❤️ Keeping busy is easier then feeling the pain you feel

❤️ You like to use the fact that you are so busy as an excuse why you can’t put yourself first

❤️ Your unhappy with something but would rather ignore it then go there

❤️ You like to feel wanted by others as it makes you feel good about yourself

It’s easier to numb yourself then to really acknowledge your truth:

✨ That you are pissed off and know you deserve better

✨ Your body is tired, it’s screaming at you and you keep ignoring it

✨ You’ve had enough of never having time for yourself but you can’t work out how it will ever change

✨ You want to scream from the rooftops but tell ourselves you shouldn’t or it’s not appropriate

✨ You know there is more, you miss the aliveness you once felt, that joy for life but you have no idea how to find your way back

Let me tell you ABSOLUTELY can – but you know what has to change?

You ignoring You!

Things are never going to change unless you start listening to your truth and start putting yourself first

If you are ready to stop fucking around and leave 2021 behind knowing you are ready to step into the person you really want to be, get in touch – I have something perfect for you.

It took me somewhere I had never been...

Sat, 04 Sep 2021 00:00:00 GMT

This week has seen me in a real battle with why am I here and have been trying to make sense of it all but since sharing this, the energy is moving

I’ve been hiding my spiritual side because some of goings on in the last two years have freaked me out because it’s another level of woo that I don’t fully understand

Dying and death had always scared me and losing so many people I love in tragic circumstances made me question what is the point of this life and why was it happening?

I was living in fear of dying but in the last four years I’ve made peace with death and been blessed to experience things that have blown my mind ~ seeing spirits leave, messages from people that have passed and I’ve been a channel for souls as they’ve transitioned from this world.

I never asked for this and this week it took me somewhere I had never been

I know it’s a gift, I am learning how to navigate and set spiritual boundaries but at times felt so alone and scared knowing the energy wasn’t mine but also blessed that they chose me

But do I understand it all and what it means in terms of my purpose and how it links to my mission?

Not at all but it’s happening and since I accepted that over the last few days and said it out loud something has shifted in me.

Sometimes it is easy to be in your little cocoon and tell yourself you have to figure it out first and that no one will understand but today saying stuff out loud has shown me that’s rubbish and more souls have been introduced to me that get it and I no longer feel alone in this very different world.

And just as I was speaking about this to a friend today in my car on the drive, this beautiful white feather flew in front of my screen and stayed on the wiper - I know this was a sign that spirit was listening, it was also 17:17 a sign for us both that the blocks are moving and that we are magical, we all have that magic in us

I am so thankful and I really want to share more of my journey because I’m sure there are others that resonate and I think I’m finally accepting after so many signs that although it might not make sense

It is my truth

It is who I am

The Day of The Goddess

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Happy Friday 13th ~ The Day of The Goddess ✨✨✨

A day to celebrate the divine feminine in us all and it’s the perfect day for for me today as I start to slowly emerge from my cocoon - it feels like a rebirth for sure as the virus is finally leaving my body ✨✨✨

What a journey and thank goodness for the trust I have in myself and my body, for surrendering into what my body needed, for reaching out and asking for help - for receiving all the ❤️ that came my way, for honouring the goddess in me always because that is truly embodied in me

I am full of so much love and gratitude for myself and for all the love I’ve received along the way

I will rise and be flying again soon but until then I honour and meet myself in the juicy divine feminine energies of this special day and Invite you gorgeous beings to do the same

How can you celebrate the goddess in you today?

Let’s talk Orgasms - well it’s National Orgasm Day and it would be rude not too!

Sat, 31 Jul 2021 00:00:00 GMT

This is a scene that many may associate with orgasms and the reality is - they don’t always look like that and sometimes the ideas of the how one should act in the heights of pleasure can sometimes stop you from reaching the big O at all.

For me though, my views on Orgasms have changed over the last few years and my focus has switched to pleasure

Pleasure and the expansion of pleasure into every cell of my body and not chasing the goal of a big O

For those that have regular Orgasms, I invite you in honour of this day to try something different and to focus on pleasure, to breathe more deeply into your body, to surrender to every tingle or sensation that occurs, to remove the goal and instead bring yourself more to the moment

And if you are someone that thinks they have never had one - let me ask you this? Have you ever experienced pleasure in intimacy and are you open to more? I invite you to focus on what feels nice in your body, noticing whether your mind starts to talk you out of receiving - breathing and noticing how that feels

Orgasms are delicious and they come in all shapes and sizes and can be achieved clothes off and clothes on, with and without toys or someone else, they can be mind blowing or can be tiny bursts of pleasure - they are unique to you, to that moment in time, to your body

Enjoy the exploration and the expansion of pleasure my darlings x

“The Goddess”

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Darlings, I have wanted to share this for months but now the book has been birthed, I would love to introduce you to

“The Goddess”

You may recognise her from the front cover of my book

This painting means everything to me and I get to see her everyday

I collected her back in May from the phenomenal artist Amanda Heath from Amanda Heath Art and I was blown away by her beauty and how Amanda brought my vision to life, I am so grateful for meeting Amanda.

Below are the words that Amanda wrote for the book and encapsulates her magical creation and why she is so special:

"Kerry is someone who is larger than life, and when you meet her she fills the room with love, joy and possibility. So when she asked me to bring her vision for the cover of the book, to life, it was an immediate yes.

I love that from the very beginning she was clear on exactly the look and feel she wanted and was able to articulate that in detail.

We initially worked through a series of ‘drafts’, discovering the elements that epitomised the essence of a goddess being awakened. Capturing a resemblance of Kerry and her energy but not an exact likeness as it represents both Kerry’s journey and the journey of all the women she reaches through her work.

To have been even a small part of the creation of this book is the greatest blessing, and to have experienced the pure magic of Kerry’s energy work myself is something I will never forget.

The painting was created with acrylic, oils and gold leaf and is a symbol of the beauty, possibility, strength and grace that we all hold inside. It suggests that embracing and loving all parts of ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly, leads to the most phenomenal awakening of the divine feminine.

Meeting and working with Kerry is something I will cherish for ever.

With love and gratitude

Amanda Heath

✨✨✨ OMG I AM OFFICIALLY AN AUTHOR!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!! ✨✨✨

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 00:00:00 GMT

The day is here and I am so excited to let you know my book Surrender to Your Truth – A Powerful Journey to Explore the Depths of Your Soul and Awaken Your Sexual Power is out TODAY!! ��

I am so excited to share this with you and absolutely love my front cover - I’ll share more on the amazing picture soon but my god it takes my breath away!

Surrender to Your Truth is an invitation to explore the depths of your soul; to open up to a delicious life of sacred self-love, pleasure and happiness that you may never have experienced before.

This is more than a book to empower you to connect to all of you though – it’s my personal story of my awakening sharing parts of me that I have never shared before

Buy your Kindle Version here for just £1.99 today! (I would love you to buy the paperback too but buying the kindle will help me get my Amazon Best Seller and I really want to get that today so buy both and please share with the world

AND if ya wanna be in with a chance to win a card reading, goddess gift box and a 121 with me, print screen your kindle purchase and send to me to go into the draw!

Kindle - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B099FMSRBY

Paperback - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1913728323

Thank you darlings. I am soooo excited for today, bring it on!!

Today has been a whirlwind!

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I've only gone and done it, I am an AMAZON BEST SELLER and a HOT RELEASE in not one but TEN Categories!!!!! ��

#1 Women & Spirituality (Paperback)

#1 Inspirational Spirituality (Kindle)

#1 Women’s Spirituality (Kindle)

#1 Yoga & Tantric Sex (Paperback)

#1 Spiritual Rituals (Paperback)

#1 Courses In Miracles (Kindle)

#1 Spiritual Gifts (Kindle)

#1 Spiritual Gifts (Paperback)

#1 Human Sexuality (Kindle)

#1 Other Practices (Kindle)

When my Amazing publisher Abigail Horne from Authors & Co messaged me this morning at 10am and told me I'd hit Number One in 3 categories. I just couldn't believe it. I still am in a state of shock I think - today has been a whirlwind!

Thank You Thank You to everyone that has bought a copy TODAY and shared it with your friends, It means the absolute world to get this for my own book but I know this is only the beginning of some amazing things to come

And If you still want to grab your copy for £1.99 for today only, you can do here and pop me a screenshot for your chance to enter a prize draw for some goodies- https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B099FMSRBY

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, I just can't believe it!

Believe in yourself

Sat, 26 Jun 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Two years ago in this most amazing location on the Amalfi Coast, I started jotting down the ideas for my book - I didn’t do much more after that

It’s because my story was still unfolding, I had so much more to experience, things would become clearer as the months went on

I did 6,000 words a year later and never looked at it until February this year

It was all in divine timing and this time I was ready, really ready to share my story but not only that, I started to believe in myself that I had a story to share and it would inspire those that read it

If you’ve started a book, don’t give up and trust that you’ll do it when the time is right

In just over three weeks I’m going to be an author, I always knew I would one day

If you have that dream too, trust it will happen and start writing - I wrote a little bit every week and by the end had over 50,000 words

Little and often when you feel inspired to write

Believe in yourself that it is possible

Trust ❤️✨

I’m a trauma survivor and I’m surviving

Sat, 29 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

My trip down memory lane this week stirred lots of trauma in me and sometimes it comes up when you least expect it, because it’s time and you are ready to go there

And the reality is when you embody everything that arises in you, you can go from euphoria of announcing your going on TV to being on the floor and I’m ok with that because it’s all energy and it’s moving

I came away to university in Stoke on Trent when I was 18 years old and it felt like a million miles away from home and I was running. I was trying to start my life again and leave behind the person that I was because I never accepted that part of me

I never knew that at the time that’s what I did but the trauma never stopped it followed me and it became my normal and university was the perfect place to numb it - drinking, drugs, busy busy busy, so much fun but I wasn’t being true to me

Whilst I sit here finalising my book, the trauma that has rising in me these last couple of days knocked me sideways, I knew I was meant to come to back here and now I know why

I’ve cried, I’ve shaken, I’ve been sick, reached out for support and I’ve had flashbacks to past trauma that I wish I’d forgotten but I’ve let it move because I choose freedom these days and I feel so much better already

There is no such thing as being fixed and I welcome in more snot, tears and euphoria of whatever else comes my way

I’m a trauma survivor and surviving ✨❤️

Get Your Sexy On!

Sun, 16 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Sexiness is a mindset and comes from within and as today is Sunday, I invite you to get your sexy on

Ooh so many ideas but here are some to get your sexy juices stimulated...

�� If you are still in bed, spend a few moments saying good morning to your body, lightly touch and caress the around the contours of your entire body, try it with the palm and backs of your hand - don't rush and breathe and enjoy the sensations that arise, all of them and if it moves you to tears, embrace them too

�� Dust off your sexy underwear and wear something sexy that you never wear or go out today without - this is all for you and it's super sexy when you know you are the only one that knows

�� Listen to something sensual and give yourself a lap dance - why not I say - laugh your way through it if you want - it's all energy

Don't over think it. it's Sexy Sunday - so go on .... get your sexy on - are you with me?

What does living life in alignment actually mean for you?

Sat, 15 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

What does living life in alignment actually mean for you? This is me:

✨ Things seem easy and life flows effortlessly from one moment to the next

✨ Pleasure is my priority and I welcome it in all forms

✨ I make time to always listen to me and check in with myself

✨ Opportunities fall into my lap and I thank my lucky stars for them

✨ I feel so excited for the future and know that the world is my oyster and that I can achieve anything

✨ I live for the moment and embody every emotion that arises in me

✨ When curve balls arrive, I trust and know that everything in life is a lesson and I am learning all the time

✨ I embrace all of life and know what I need to meet me when life takes me off course

Today life feels deliciously in flow - what about you and If not, what can you gift yourself today that will take you there? ��

Owning my Sexual Power

Tue, 04 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

Your Sexual power isn’t something to be ashamed about

Yet it’s something that I hid my whole life and still hide now to an extent but now I have recognised it, today marks the day I am officially outing myself

I am a powerful Sexual Goddess and I absolutely OWN my POWER

My Sexual power underpins EVERYTHING in my world

The way I show up for myself, in my work, in my relationships, It’s what I teach my clients

It impacts my whole entire life

It’s Raw

It’s authentic

It’s Juicy

It’s sooo powerful that It takes my breath away

I would LOVE to empower every woman on this planet to own their sexual power

To feel it – to really feel the magic of when you let go and surrender to all of you

To celebrate it and harness it through every single cell of your being

To bathe yourself in all the pleasure

And the part that is so misunderstood is

This isn’t about the act of SEX, it’s about owning your truth and the power that is already there

It’s about giving yourself permission to FEEL everything

And you can do it all with your clothes on - you can access it right now as you read this

It’s a power that is available ALL the time

A divine embodiment of LOVE

It’s PURE connection to consciousness – to a power you may have never known

It’s everything to me

And part of my mission in the world is to show you the way

To hold your hand and empower you to trust in the journey

I am a powerful sexy woman and I am ready to lead in a more magnificent way than ever before

I am proud to be the person I am and am becoming

Because I totally trust In the journey

Are you with me? Are you ready to own your SEXUAL POWER and stop hiding your truth in this world?

How does your self love weigh up?

Mon, 03 May 2021 00:00:00 GMT

I don't feel fat - I think fat is a mindset because what matters is how you feel about yourself

That's what I told my new Personal Trainer today - She asked for my weight and as of today I am 16st 8lb!

Wow what a number, I am the heaviest I have ever been - I gave up CrossFit in January and my body has definitely changed and im more curvaceous for sure but when I look in the mirror

I still LOVE what I see

But I also accept that I am now ready to tone up and get some more consistency back to my exercise and nutrition and I know my body will change but what remains is

I Love myself whatever and that for me wins over anything - that's what important not my weight! That's just a number and after so many years of feeling disgusting I am celebrating that!

Your self love means sooooo much more then a number beautiful ones!

I felt like my whole world was crashing in around me

Fri, 04 Dec 2020 11:54:42 GMT

I had a bit of a shock yesterday when these pictures came up on my Facebook Memories from three years ago

I was shocked because I couldn’t believe how unwell I looked These pics were taken at the end of a 5k run and although I am smiling, I wasn’t well that day and haven’t acknowledged that until now

Only a month before, I had returned from my EAM mentor training in Morocco which I’ve never really spoken about, it was a week of shifts and transformation but was also the start of the healing of my trauma, when my body started to connect to what it held on too for over 15 years. It was overwhelming and I ended up passing out one day because it got too much. After some fabulous TLC from the team, I left early to return to a fundraiser that we had organised for my friend Helen. I remember driving to the venue and feeling sick, crying my eyes out but knowing I had no time to deal with this now, I had to put my face on and stand alongside my friends hosting the night.

The next day, I kept going, went to visit Helen and I knew she was transitioning, it was heartbreaking as I never really thought she would actually leave us

I kept going, running around, keeping myself busy busy busy

The next day we were running around and when we got home, I had stopped for the first time in days and I started to feel out of sorts, within a few hours I was lifeless and was rushed into hospital

I had suspected meningitis

I couldn’t remember my name, my date of birth, I thought I was living in a different year, I was slowly going offline

I could see everyone starring at me, Emily saying mummy are you ok?

I remember trying to explain to the doctors I’d be working on my energy, had lots of trauma memories coming up

He thought I was crazy

Energetically my body was shutting down, the events from the last week was too overwhelming and I was checking out

I had spent the last two weeks trying to run away from my thoughts, from my body’s cries to just slow down and it had enough

I was put into quarantine and had a week of lumbar punches, scans, it was crazy

I also lost my dear friend that week to Cancer

I felt like my whole world was crashing in around me

And I wanted to keep on running

And that’s what I did, so here I was two weeks later pushing myself through a run when I was really unwell, I still hadn’t learnt, I was pushing
through, keeping going and my goodness does it show here

What followed was months of me running away, Being wild because I really couldn’t face what was going on in my life

After all that, I still wasn’t listening

So I’m sharing this with you to show you the impact of what happens when you don’t and when you ignore what is really going on.

Is your mind telling you to stop, is your body screaming at you to listen to it?

Is it time for you to stop running and listen to yourself?

The art of embodiment has been a game changer for me

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Embodiment has given me a sense of coming home to myself, letting myself feel everything that arises in my being

Sometimes it makes no sense, has no rhyme or reason and sometimes sensations or emotions arise completely out of nowhere

But I’ve learnt now to accept it and know it’s ok because they are part of me

Maybe you had conditioning placed on you that told you, that you had to be strong

That it was wrong to be angry or frustrated or to cry and be yourself

But what happens when we suppress emotions, is we get sick or they bubble up until we lose our sh*t! You know the times when you break down or shout at the kids over the silliest thing and then you beat yourself up over it

Now more than ever, it’s time you give yourself a break and permission to let go and surrender to what is alive in you

To what you are really feeling

To know that it’s ok for you to feel like that

When you give yourself permission to express what’s really going on underneath the worry, the anxiety and the stress, It’s moves

The art of embodiment has been a game changer for me because I went about my everyday not even realising that I was numb

That I had disconnected from my body because I was too scared to feel

I was scared that if I opened the floodgates, the tears would never stop

I just kept running until I finally surrendered to feeling it all

On the other side of that is freedom, Yes I feel, OMG, do I feel, I feel it all so deeply, as I ride the waves of life

But not only do I let myself feel pain, I also let myself feel more love, I am more connected to the here and now, I feel pleasure in the little things and I am not scared of whatever comes my way

Are you letting yourself feel everything that Is alive in you right now?

If you have read this far, take a moment now with yourself, close your eyes and ask, what is alive in me now?

What do I feel?

I am so passionate about the world of embodiment and on Friday evening, I am creating a sacred Journey for you to feel, for you to embody everything that you are feeling right now, no pushing down, accepting you, say YES to it all, to surrender to what is here in this moment and allowing it to move through you.

It’s going to be fun, it’s going to be liberating and I can’t wait to journey with everyone. If you’d like to know more, let me know xx

Tomorrow is another day

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 11:01:52 GMT

I was up throughout the night, head pounding and my eye balls ached as I spent most of yesterday in tears

As my alarm went off at 5:15, I knew I wanted to workout but I felt fragile

I got dressed and stepped outside, the sky was full of stars and I took a moment and I had a really strong message that I am being held

I got in the car and Hallelujah came on, the tears started again and kept coming, sobbing, you know the type where you think they will never stop

I parked outside and saw everyone coming in and knew I had a choice, do I go in or do I go home

I walked in and the tears kept coming, I knew that none of my Crossfit family had ever seen me like this

I saw a beautiful couple I know turned up so I went out and asked for help

I just needed to speak to someone, I needed a hug and that's what I got, I let go and I leant into the pain that is feeling so raw right now

Sometimes things happen in life we have no control over and sometimes you don't know how you're going to move forward and how it is all going to work out but when things are in your life that are not in alignment with who you really truly are and where you are going, you get told about it, the body and the mind screams at you, everything in your life points towards where you need to lean in and its whether you choose to ignore it or not

I choose to lean in to the uncomfortable and as bloody hard as it feels, I know that leaning in is where my biggest growth is, it's the part of me that wants to be heard and seen

I walk my talk, its what I teach my goddesses to do and its the path I lead

You never really know what's really going on in someones world, most of us spend our lives pretending everything is ok, I don't pretend, I connect to my truth and its the only way for me even when it bloody hurts

And as one of my friends messaged me yesterday, tomorrow is another day sweetheart and indeed it is

Send me a hug beautiful ones if you've got this far xx

Music helps me release

Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Music is a HUGE part of my life and when I'm low in vibration, I often ask Alexa to play me something happy or put on one of my favourite tracks that get me shaking my booty or to dance really slowly so I can really feel what's going on

Music helps me release, I'm often booing my eyes out as I move or jumping around laughing my head off, it brings it all out!

Tonight I had loads to do but I got snuggled in my onesie and decided to create a new playlist of songs that lift me on the days when I want the world to go away or I have no idea what's up, I just know its what I need

Here is my playlist if ya fancy a listen..although totally get it's a personal thing... my taste ranges from Elvis to garage classics

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7x4Ew2RJgA1uGBQwk3AhUo...

They'll be loads more and ill keep adding ... I love a playlist ��

And if you have any good playlist, share with me, I'd love to listen ��

Going away gave me a renewed connection to life, to my purpose and to my why.

Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I've been so in my head lately, as much as I generally live my life in alignment, life is so different and I definitely find myself yearning to go within more, to find more peace in my day and this also strong desire to be wild, to live more than I have ever lived, to take every opportunity, to do things that are outside the box, to experience everything more deeply

I'm missing my old life for sure but I'm finding new ways to connect to what yearns inside me

Going away the last two days has given me a renewed connection to life, to my purpose and to my why

The location was stunning, I was nestled amongst trees with wildlife all around me, the barn was in the grounds of Slade Farm and the energetics were gorgeous, I knew it was special but it was more than that, it felt sacred, it was nourishing for the soul and it felt safe for me and most importantly my clients

The invitation in the sessions is to let go, to surrender to all that arises within them, that they can be themselves, to connect to their body, to their essence that has the power to heal...

There is so much within us that we are not even aware of, its there and sometimes its asking to be lovingly guided to awaken

That power is YOU, its your truth

Its the part of you that knows

That trusts

That feels unstoppable

That loves themselves unconditionally

That knows they can face whatever life throws at them

That embraces their vulnerability because its all part of who you are

Because its all part of the journey

It's the reason you are here

Are you ready to awaken your power and feel the essence that it brings you?

Beauty is everywhere

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Most mornings Emily picks me a flower and I really love receiving this act of love
But not just that, it stays with me and is a gift that keeps giving
Today I found myself really taking in the beauty, not only of that moment but the flower itself and all the beauty that it represents
And then it got me thinking about how we sometimes forget or overlook the beauty in ourselves
To take a moment and really look at ourselves and take in everything that we present in the world
Maybe you don't look like you've always looked, maybe showing signs of getting older, maybe bigger or smaller in weight then you used to be, maybe you've been feeling unwell
Maybe you've stopped taking yourself in and seeing the beauty in all that you are in this moment
As you are now
Maybe you haven't told yourself how beautiful you are for a long time
Beauty radiates from within you and to the person that's seen in this world
Take a moment now with yourself
Find something you love
And say out loud I love this about YOU
Beauty is everywhere
We just need to make the time to really see it
Xx

When you give yourself permission to let go

Thu, 10 Sep 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Today I took my beautiful goddesses on a journey to reclaim their power, to embody EVERYTHING they were feeling

To give themselves permission to let go

To acknowledge the stories, the fear, the sadness, whatever they tell themselves that stops them from feeling

That stops them from accessing all the power that is waiting to be felt

We connected to our ancestors, to all the women that came before us that were told that being in their power wasn’t their right

It took my breath away and moved me to tears because I could really feel it, feel them letting go

I have felt that so much in my journey

Releasing for others and not just for myself

Telling myself that I am safe and it’s ok to surrender

To surrender to feeling pleasure

And when you connect to the power through pleasure

The things that hurt alchemise, into energy that is able to flows through your being

Everything we feel is a gift, the pain, the joy, all of it because

It is all YOU

And the moment, you accept yourself in all that you bring

Is the moment you start to set yourself free

Spread your wings and fly

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I remember waking up two years ago in a tent on a rainy day and feeling sick to the stomach

What the hell was I thinking, to stand practically naked all day whilst my body was painted

A few months before the lovely Liz Bylett had posted for models for the living art show and I thought ooh that sounds fun but it was so much more than that, we were to be painted as butterflies and the transformation was to signify setting ourselves free from sexual trauma and this had been a big part of my journey in the two years before

The butterfly held huge significance for me, it's the image I often picture as I release, I spread my wings and fly

On the way to the marquee, I went into a total panic, I went live on my page and said I can't do this, everyone will be staring at me, I'm fat, disgusting, all those old beliefs started to come up, I felt so overwhelmed , help.. I was then showered with so much love and I felt so held, makes me teary now as I remember how nourishing that felt

And then I met the beautiful Kellie Driscoll and what a beautiful soul to paint me, I told her how I was feeling and she was AMAZING and I feel so blessed to have met her and to call her a dear friend

What a day, what an experience that I will never ever forget

That evening, I took to the catwalk, I felt proud, so liberated and so free

Freedom presents itself in different ways and as I take each step, I feel more and I know there is so much more to come too

So if you ever think you won't be free, free from your past, free from your mind and the things you say to yourself, know that you absolutely can, its about believing it can happen and having the courage to take that first step, to spread your wings and fly ��

Taking moments of silence can transform your day

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Silence

Taking a moment in pure silence

A simple practice yet why do we tell ourselves that we don't have time

Don't have time to take a moment to be still

To connect to your body

To your mind

To your breath

Taking moments of silence can transform your day

Because that pause button brings you to the here and now

To you

Take a moment now, stop scrolling for a moment and stop

Take a breath, listen to your mind and body and just be with what is here in this very special moment in time

Then if this feels good, do it again

If it doesn't feel good, do it again

Because sometimes our being needs space to drop in especially if its a long time since you stopped

I do this throughout my day to keep me present with myself but also with life

Give it ago my lovelies and watch what you say to yourself now if the answer is no

There is a lesson in that too ❤️

The day I took a leap of faith

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Four years ago, I took a leap of faith and left a career that I loved because I had a inner knowing that there was more for me in this life

I also knew how precious life was and that tomorrow life could change forever so I didn't want to waste another moment... there was more waiting for me, I knew that for sure

I remember the day I told Mark, he wasn't impressed to be honest, what do you mean you want to leave, what about your mortgage, I thought you wanted us to move, how will you earn money, what about Emily?

I stood my ground, I think he thought I was having a mid life crisis but I told him it was all going to be ok because I knew it would be and I said I also want to move and buy a bigger detached house, he thought I'd lost my mind

I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't scared, I felt sick to the stomach and asked myself many times was I making the right decision but that feeling when I handed in my 3 months notice felt so freeing... I kept reminding myself of that

They joked at work in my leaving speech of where I would end up next... maybe on big brother or strictly come dancing (haha that would be my dream) or maybe I'd end up at the O2 one day healing people...(and that is very much in my sights!)

I never ever would have guessed the journey that followed in the last four years and if I'd have known, I may have never left. It's been a rollercoaster for sure but I am so glad that I listened and held on

Four years of delving deep into me of exploration of every part of who I am and who I want to be, I never really knew what self development was before then and I definitely didn't know that I had deep rooted trauma and such a low opinion of myself underneath all the busyness of life, that was such a shock but my goodness, I am so glad I went there and didn't run away, although I tried to ignore it many times

I feel so proud to say I am now a very successful Energy Alignment and Tantric Embodiment Coach and even an international radio host (get me!) With soooo much more exciting things on the way

This pic was taken on my leaving do, sooo apt, I will always do a happy dance and celebrate on the 12th August, the day I took that leap of faith

Embracing all that I am at my latest photoshoot

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT

This was more than just a photoshoot for me, it was a celebration of how far I have come in the last four years...

From someone who didn't like herself very much and who felt like I had to change to fit in

To someone who embraces all that I am

I pinch myself everyday to now be doing what I do in the world and to work with beautiful women to accept every part of who they are and be a true Goddess, to find that inner beauty regardless of size, shape or what challenges they may have faced in their lives

I never thought it was possible and I am so proud of me and my journey so far and I know there is soooo much more to come

Here is a snippet of my photoshoot for you... let me know what you think beautiful ones

Pics by Katrina Festorazzi , thank you gorgeous xx

I was powerless

Sat, 08 Aug 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Six years ago, I felt like every inch of my power had been taken away, I was living in a complete nightmare and felt like the whole world was against me

I don't deserve this

Why me?

Why are they all so against me?

Why does nobody like me?

I was in my career of over 10 years and I found myself in a situation where I couldn't breathe and felt like I was back in the playground surrounded by bullies

But I was 34, how could this be happening again?

Every night, I went home from work and spent my evenings crying my eyes out, I never wanted to go to work, I felt sick as soon as I entered the building, I knew how I was being treated wasn't right but I felt like I had lost control of myself, I wasn't acting the way I wanted either, I was like a rabbit in the headlights

I wasn't empowered, I was acting from a place of fear

Fear of not being liked

Fear that everyone would think I couldn't cope

Fear that everyone would think I wasn't good at my job

It was one of the hardest periods of my life

And then one day, It all started to change

I remember I spoke to a friend at lunchtime, I was hiding in a doorway near my office and told her that I didn't want this anymore and I had a dream of inspiring others, this wasn't my future, I wanted more and more importantly I deserved better

Slowly, very slowly, I started to dig deep into that knowing even know my mind was telling me other things

I was wearing so many masks, trying to be someone different to every person and every situation, I was exhausted

I didn't know or understand then that although I felt, I was being treated unfairly, I was also attracting this energy and more important than that, I wasn't being true to me and I wasn't being honest, I was acting from my head and most certainly was not connected to my heart

I was hiding myself who I really was because I was so scared of being hurt

I was POWERLESS

Over the last four years, I have reclaimed my power and my goodness it has been a huge learning curve. I had no idea how much of myself I had ignored and tried to suppress for most of my life

When you step into your power, there is no hiding, you accept you, every part of your being and I want to show you that no matter how you may feel right now, the POWER is all yours and is ready to be RECLAIMED

If you want to reclaim your power, and be supported by me and my wonderful community, then join The Awakened Soul Facebook group.

Are you embracing the goddess within you?

Sun, 26 Jul 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I am a Goddess

Radiating light

Radiating love

Surrendering to the waves of life

Feeling everything and never shutting myself down

Loving myself unconditionally

Accepting all that I am, the light and the dark

Expressing myself, no hiding and no holding back

You never know what tomorrow holds, I live for today and live for this moment in time

Are you embracing the goddess within you?

She is there

In every one of you

Connect to her and feel her warmth

Feel her pain

Give her permission to speak

Give her permission to feel EVERYTHING, to play, to live

To breathe

To experience life in all its forms

Experience, embrace and express every inch of your being

Is it time for you to awaken the goddess within you?

My 12-week signature programme is a beautiful journey to connect to your inner essence, the depth of your soul.

Contact me if you feel called and would love to find out more x

Photo by the amazing Katrina Festorazzi from my recent photo shoot! xx

How do you feel about investing in yourself?

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 00:00:00 GMT

The moment you say YES to YOU, Is the start of something quite magical

But believe me when I tell you, I absolutely know how daunting it can be, especially if you have never even considered it before

It was only 3.5 years ago that I said YES to me

I never had a clue what an impact saying yes would have on my WHOLE life

That it would change my entire world, even down to my career, wow, just wow

And when I say invest, I mean all in

Listening to my intuition, to that calling, that was getting louder and louder

Investment in time and space for me to breathe, to think, to understand who I was

To invest money on things that my soul was drawn too

Investing in me is now part of my DNA but it takes time for it to become part of your everyday

But every time I invest in me, I invest in EVERY part of my life

When I feel nourished, inspired, held and supported – every person I connect with feels it too

it's so much more than investing in me

How does that the thought of investing in you feel?

Do you make time for yourself every day and think about what would nourish YOU?

If not what is stopping you?

And what if you knew that investment would impact your entire world? Would you think differently then?

That first step is always the hardest

But once you do, you feel the magic and there is no going back

Go on, I dare you to take that step on the magical journey of self-love

To take your first step on your journey and join us in The Awakened Soul Facebook group.

Putting yourself first even when it feels the hardest thing in the world

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I'm sitting here tonight and reflecting on my world in the last week

I'm not ready to share why but it's been one of the hardest weeks I have had in a very long time for so many reasons but do you know what

I practice what I preach

I listened to me and I mean really listened

I knew I couldn't show up and I told everyone around me that I needed to look after me and my closest

I retreated even though at the time I felt like the world might leave me behind

I knew that none of it mattered

What mattered was to look after me and to those I hold close

The support I have received has been phenomenal, so much love, support, and guidance, I felt all the love

My god, what a week

I lived and breathed the work I do in the world

I embodied my emotions

I let it pass through my body with ease, without resisting the pain I was feeling

I let go of it and I connected to love

I connected into me

To what I really truly needed to nourish my soul

I let myself be held and be witnessed in all my vulnerability

And now the fog is starting to lift, I feel stronger but know the pace of life is still slow... and that feels good

I feel so lucky to know what I know and what a lucky being I am for everything I have experienced, the people I have met and the amazing wealth of knowledge I have learnt along the way

I share this because I want to inspire you to always be YOU, to put yourself first even when it feels hard

To listen, to always listen to what your heart is telling you , your heart is your soul, the depth of you, your true self, Listen....

How true connection is the key to a better sex life

Tue, 09 Jun 2020 00:00:00 GMT

So how has your sex life been since we all went into lockdown?

I spoke with a friend the other day and she told me she doesn’t have sex anymore with her husband

She said she just doesn’t want to

It was boring

It was the same old stuff and she would rather just go to sleep

I asked her “don't you enjoy Sex then?”

Yes I did before kids and when I had time to do things for myself and with the hubby

we never do anything together anymore. We are always so tired

"Do you miss him?" Yep but I would never tell him that though

So this is one of the reasons why couples stop having sex, because they are not being honest with how they are feeling and they don't find QUALITY time for each other

And then you just get into a place where not having sex becomes the norm

If you would like more intimacy in your relationship, start by making time for each other and communicating more with things like saying good morning to each other and seeing how each other is, little steps like this can make all the difference

Because that is true connection - When you take a moment to take each other in and when you both feel like the other one cares

If you don't take time for each other outside of the bedroom, then the likelihood of magic happening beneath the sheets is unlikely

Make time with each other to be witnessed, to be acknowledged and the bedroom fun will follow

It’s about making that first step – are you ready?

During my 6 week couples course

and I love sharing beautiful practices and rituals that will be an absolute game changer in your relationship wherever you are on your journey

If you are thinking oooh this could be for me, then get in touch with me.

Where does your relationship sit within your priorities?

Sun, 31 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I used to live next door to a beautiful elderly lady and we would often have a chat as I walked past her garden and she always spoke so much sense and shared so much of her wisdom with me.

She was a widow and had lived on her own for many years but always talked about her husband.

A few months after my ex husband left me, we were chatting in the front garden and I explained what had happened and she said something that has stuck with me and has really carried into my relationship with Mark.

She said that these days people gave up on marriage so easily.

Life brings you ups and downs and it's so important that you stick together through it all.

Back when she married her husband, he was her world and when they had children, it never changed, he was always her number one and she really cherished him in everything they went through together, they talked together, always considered each other and that’s why they were married for over 60 years.

She said now when couples have children, they lose sight of each other and sometimes forget what's really important.

It stuck with me and I had seen this scenario play out so many times with others around me, so when I had Emily, I remembered and it made so much sense but I also know it can easily happen. It has at times for us but I tell myself that story over and over again.

Our children take up so much time and as well as all the joy can also leave you feeling exhausted sometimes so the last thing you want to do is spend quality time with the other half.

To keep a loving connection with each other, dedicated time to grow and expand as a couple is so important, so so important

Where does your relationship sit within your priorities? I know from experience that working on my relationship has a positive impact on EVERYTHING.

There Is always room for growth and expansion no matter where you are on your relationship journey.

There is always more to know about each other and always more intimacy and pleasure to be experienced……. So so soooooo much more

I am excited for the couples that take my couples programme

as I know it will be a game changer, not just for the 6 weeks but FOREVER …

It will transform the way you connect as a couple FOREVER and the rituals and practices I share will continue to deepen the more you do it

It really is a magical journey

Relationships take work and there is no quick fix

Wed, 27 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Not so long ago, only two years ago, I felt like I was on my own journey

I was just plodding along in my relationship but I was unfulfilled, I felt like there was something more out there, someone different that would tick more boxes for me

What I didn’t realised at the time was that It wasn’t Mark that was the problem

But the effort I was putting in, I was doing everything away from Mark, trying to find that thing that would tick all the boxes

Not being honest with how I was feeling, Just expecting him to guess all the time

We had been together nine years so he knew me, right?

Well he did, but only the parts I shared

How could we truly connect and have even better intimacy if I wasn’t showing up fully as me and it also meant he wasn’t showing up as him either

We were both wearing masks, both acting like everything was ok

Carrying on as normal, but deep down we knew we were just coasting along

This was all the midst of me going on a huge self-development journey and spending thousands on training in energy work including EAM and Tantra, I was flying and felt like I was leaving him behind

I learnt so much about myself, how to love, how to communicate, how to connect, how to touch in a way that was what I truly wanted and desired but at first, I was keeping this all to myself because I felt like he wouldn’t get it

It’s not his thing so what was the point

But when it dawned on me, I started to slowly open up, sharing myself and sharing what was really going on for me and even though sometimes the conversations were tough, we became closer, we acknowledged that we needed to keep talking and sharing ourselves, how could we connect, if we didn’t know who each other was

Relationships take work and there is no quick fix, it starts with YOU being YOU and being honest with who you are, I know that more than ever in the last week and Mark has been really supportive because I’ve been honest with the support I need from him right now

If you are ready to take a closer look at your relationship and learn some amazing ways to connect with yourself and each other and learn the art of conscious communication and sacred touch to bring that spark back, take a look at my couples course, Deepening Intimacy

Feel free to email me if you have any questions… it’s a magical journey xx

Now that I've acknowledged that I'm actually not ok, I feel better

Wed, 20 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT

This is a very vulnerable post and I'm sharing because although It's hard for me to share this as its raw, I lead by example and every day I'm showing women how step into their power and embrace their vulnerability so here I am embracing mine

I'm real, I have rode the ups and downs of these times but I have struggles too and on the one hand I'm absolutely rocking it , amazing mum, teacher and housewife by day, feeling on fire in my business by night, working out most days, in a loving relationship and I have been having a lot of fun too. But last night I acknowledged that I am affected by this time more than I realised and it was a bit of a shock to be honest

A few years ago, I was having one of the most stressful times of my life at work and was trying to pretend I was ok but I was really struggling and I started to scratch my head, scratched it so much that I made it bleed, I would do this over and over again without even thinking until my whole head was full of scabs.. i know, not nice at all

I acknowledged last night that I have been doing it again, I've known for a few weeks but never gave it space to acknowledge it and suppose I didn't really want to admit this to myself because I really have been feeling ok

But that's the thing, sometimes you are consciously but there is more going on inside and it shows up in other ways

I sat down with Mark, I cried my eyes out, I showed him what I had done to myself, I said I didn't really know why but I know the last time I did this, I wasn't in a great place

I went on to explain when I scratch my head, it releases tension that I am feeling and makes my head tingle and it's like a huge release and my head tingles for ages... it's like it sets me into this feeling of freedom, an aliveness until the tension builds up and I do it again

Now I've acknowledged that I'm actually not ok, I feel better

And although, I know I can absolutely do the work on it, I have no idea what it's all about not truly but what I do know is this aliveness and release I feel when I do it is something I am really missing in my day to day, I am having pockets of time but compared to the wonderful life that I have created for my family, no where near and I miss that

I know I'm finding it really hard seeing my beautiful family struggle too, I feel everything, Emily misses her friends and her school life and she has had enough and I desperately want to help her, we've scrapped the daily routines and going with the flow but she wants more, we all do

So here I am declaring yes I'm struggling in my own way too

I've recognised my stress response and now I've acknowledged it, I am going to sit with it, write about it, do the energy work and start the journey back to healing that part of myself and the first step was telling you so thank you for listening

Sending love to anyone else that is finding it tough, holding you all tight, we've got this and this time really isn't easy so if you are finding it tough, reach out too

Picture is a beautiful bunch of flowers Emily made me this morning along with the words - it's ok if you cry mummy, you are everything to me xx

I love showing others how to connect to SEX

Thu, 07 May 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I am ready, ready to step up, in my power and be me

Believe it or not, I have been dimming my light, hiding the part of myself that just wants to be expressed

I LOVE Sex

I LOVE having sex `

I LOVE talking about sex

I LOVE dreaming about Sex

I LOVE connecting to my sexual vibrancy, the power that makes me feel SO alive and is all within me

And now I am awake, there is no stopping me and I am ready to step up and step out! woo hoo!

I love showing others how to connect to SEX

Connect to their sexual power

Connect to their truth

Their inner soul

Their vulnerability, the rawness that may never have been expressed

And my goodness, when you do, you access a deeper more, juicer part of yourself

The part of you that is unstoppable

That knows she has got this

She is capable of anything

She can experience more

SO much more

More joy

More happiness

More fun

More pleasure

More of life

Oh YES please

Is this something you want for yourself? Join my Facebook Group, The Awakened Soul

What act of self love are you going to commit to today?

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I never loved myself enough to put myself first

‍Everything and everyone was so much more important

‍I put my energy into everything outside of me as that felt easier than looking within and actually asking myself, what does Kerry need right now?

‍I used to think that loving yourself was selfish but I now know it's one of the most Important things you can do in your life

‍When you put yourself first, you can meet your needs, it refreshes you, it makes you feel enriched with life and it means you are the best version of yourself for everyone around you

‍You may be thinking I don't know where to start, start with giving yourself some time to connect with you

‍Close your eyes and ask yourself what do I desire right now? What is my body asking me for?

‍Go on do it, don't let the negative thoughts creep in and tell you why you can't do it, just take action and do something little that is just for YOU

‍I would love you to let me know what act of self love you are going to commit to today?

‍And if you are interested in going on a journey of self discovery and love to find out more about you and your desires, come and join me and some other beautiful women that have said Yes to themselves

‍Get in touch with me if you would like to join us on this magical journey

How do you want to feel?

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT

I used to feel like I didn’t deserve to be happy, I used to punish myself for anything I could think of

‍For being fat

‍For being tall

‍For being the one that always got bullied

‍For being different

‍For being loud

‍For anything that I could think of

‍he reason I did it was because deep inside, I didn’t think I was worthy of love

‍Especially from myself

‍I didn’t really know why at the time

‍I thought it was normal to feel like this

‍And it was the story I was telling myself all the time so it just become the norm

‍Do you feel like you are worthy of love?

‍If not, do you know why?

‍Doesn’t matter if you don’t know why

‍Just knowing that you don’t feel worthy of love is enough

‍You can then start to let those stories go

‍And how do you do that…

‍So many ways but firstly I would say the first step is to take time each day and listen to the stories you are telling your self

‍Write them down

‍Don’t run away from them anymore

‍Write them down and then set the intention to let one of them go

‍It’s scary at first as you may have had this story for years

‍It’s just a belief

‍And you can start to tell yourself something different - how do you want to feel?

Apparently I'm the white stuff that holds it all together

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Today I had a lay in after Ems being up loads in the night but woke up not feeling great to be honest. Felt really stressed out, anxious, angry, sad and just didn't feel like I wanted today to be here and didn't have the energy to do my normal workout

Was fed up being the one that has to think of everything, to keep the kids busy, clean the house , do the washing, think of what our day looked like and everyone was driving me mad especially Mark

I felt shattered, exhausted and I was so out of flow, I had a choice, stay like this or do something about it

* I reached out to one of my groups on whatsapp and just blurted out how I was feeling and said I would like support - I got it

* told the family I was going to have some time and do my energy work, I did some emotional release work which was amazing, I screamed, I released anger and sadness, I then laid down and had a rest

* I sat down with Mark and told him what supported I needed

* The kids now playing together nicely, the house feels calmer and I feel a whole lot better and I just remembered something Joseph said to me yesterday when I said I'm going away to the beach for a few days when this is over

He said, "Kel, you can't go away, your like the white stuff in the middle of an Oreo, you hold everything together "

Wow, he has never said anything like that to me before, I was quite taken back. I absolutely know I am the white bit but I also recognise that some days being the white bit is hard and sometimes you want to be the one holding on ... that's how I feel today but it's ok, I am letting myself feel it

Sharing as we all have days like that, and it's ok to not be your bubbly self all the time and put yourself first .. that's what I'm doing today x

Loads of love xx

Feeling grateful. Time to reset, to pause, to connect deeper with my family.

Sat, 04 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Can't believe only three weeks ago I was in India experiencing beautiful love and intimacy in a world so different to what we live in now, human interaction like I'm used too, soooo many hugs, heartfelt conversations and physical connection

Two weeks in Isolation and my goodness feels like it's been a year but I really feel like we've explored the depths of ourselves and learnt so much, it's been a rollercoaster and some days are better than others for sure but wanted to summarise so I always have these memories in what I feel is a magical gift we have been given

* our family of four has bonded together, the kids are getting along, I've witnessed so much laughter and love between them daily that I've never seen before and seen them grow so much as individuals and we had fun exploring our neighbourhood and finding new places

* Mark's been working sooo hard, bless him and don't think reality has really hit him yet and I'm ready to support him when he takes some time off and adjusts more to our new life

* I've slept more, more time to really listen to my body, last night I had 9.5 hours, normally I get 6!

* home schooling a 5 and 13 year old has been my biggest leap but I've seen how much they have grown and how much we can learn from creative play, going with the flow and adapting around how we are all feeling , we've had great fun and some humdingers!

* we've connected more with people and had great video calls including one with 28 of Emily's school friends for a weekly show and tell, amazing

*we've come together as a community to support each other and has made me realize even more what a wonderful place I live in

* I've had pockets of time to work which at first I struggled with but has meant I've been more focussed on what's important and my light has been shining bright and feels good

* I've realised how much I have grown as a person because years ago staying at home would have been hell but I've loved it, I've exercised more, cooked, baked, made milk, been sorting things and have loads of exciting plans to do more

So all in all, I have loved the time to reset, to pause, to connect deeper with my family and I just want to say thank you and feel in deep gratitude for that

Stay safe and enjoy this special time lovelies xx

Are you hiding from yourself by keeping busy all the time?

Sun, 22 Mar 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Silence can seem so loud

I sang that in a song once and I really really felt it

I used to hate silence to the point where I never ever stopped

because when I did it made me feel so uncomfortable because my mind never shut up and I didn’t really want to hear it

It was deafening to me

I kept myself busy ALL of the time, filled my days with work, going out, having a million hobbies and on the surface I was happy but what I was really doing was running

Running away from myself

Running away from the pain I felt when I listened to me, even for a second

My body would go into complete panic

My heart beating in my throat

My head felt like it just wanted to scream

To hide under the duvet and just stop that noise

What it boiled down too was

I never really liked me, let alone loved who I was

I looked to everything else around me to make me feel good about myself

If I did lots for others that made me a good person

If I got up and went to the gym it meant I wasn’t lazy

If I had a good job, I did ok for myself

If I raise money for charity, that made me a good person

If I didn’t jump to the rescue for my friends and try and protect everyone, no one would love me

If I didn’t tick those things in my day to day, I felt rubbish and just constantly gave myself a hard time

You are fat, you are lazy

You are pathetic

You are not good enough

No one cares

Don’t stop or your world will crumble around you

About 8 years ago, I was sitting in a posh hotel in London with my life coach at the time, we were having a great session and I was saying how much I loved being busy, doing all the things I do and that I just had to keep going

She then asked me this:

What if I said this year you can’t raise money for charity? What if the gym was closed and you couldn’t go for the week and you had to spend time with you, how would you feel then?

My whole body went numb

I felt physically sick

I started to panic

OMG, not just me, without everything else, I was nothing

That was about 8 years ago, I wasn’t ready to hear that then and I don’t think I realised the impact of that question until now

I carried to run after that but I started to realise that I was running, I just thought that it was 'normal' before

I keep running for many many more years until life kept throwing me curve balls to stop and slow down

When I left my job 3.5 years ago, it was the first time I ever really experienced silence

My mind went crazy and everything came to the surface

I knew that it was time and I knew I couldn’t carry on anymore and that’s what started me on my path to awakening

This time in our lives we are being asked to stop, to spend time at home and to strip our lives back to ourselves and to stay in our homes and it’s made me realise how in the past this would have been my worst nightmare

I have changed so much

I would not have coped with this then, I would have gone into complete panic

But I feel so much more content in myself now and in my life and have spent the last few years really getting to know me, all of me

The parts I love but also the parts of me that sometimes just want to hide under the duvet and run away from because that's where your greatest growth is

The thing is whether we are listening or not, that stuff is always there, it affects our day to day, the way we feel, the way we think, the way we interact with others, our jobs. Everything we hold onto is still part of us, it’s just whether we chose to listen and acknowledge it or just to keep running

Are you ready to stop running?

...only in Goa!

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 00:00:00 GMT

Goa - what a whirlwind it has been

I never knew this journey in pleasure would be so profound

I have explored depths of myself that I've never discovered, connected to spirituality in a way that I never knew was possible and most importantly I have mastered my own pleasure, exploring my mind and body, understanding my true desires, speaking my truth and identifying what's in the way of me experiencing even more.... there is always more

And... I have met some beautiful souls from all around the globe

So many experiences but one of my favourites when shopping in Arambol yesterday was a cow trying to eat our nutella pancakes on the beach...only in Goa! Lol

All that travelling was well worth it and I can't wait to share some of the things I've learnt...watch this space xx

And now my weekend is all about the cuddles and snuggles with the family, bring it on! x

A magical weekend of Tantra once again

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 20:09:01 GMT

Just back from a magical weekend of Tantra Massage and I am feeling so privileged and so proud of myself to have been an assistant for the first time on a course that has completely transformed my life on so many levels

It was so powerful to be in service for others and made me feel even more passionate and excited about the work that I am sharing in the world

I can't believe it was only two years ago in the exact same room that I started my Tantra journey

I am a very different person now to that day

I remember so well that on the outside, I was happy and bubbly but inside I really didn't like myself very much

I thought I was fat and disgusting

And that day, I was being seen, being witnessed in all of my vulnerability

The awakenings massage is an honouring, a moment of pure devotion to you from another being

The first time I received the massage, just being touched by another in such a beautiful way made my body go into shock

I was so scared and confused and had no idea what was happening

This was my body not only letting go of past trauma but also allowing myself to receive love, something that I had struggled with all my life

I remember trying to make myself stop moving, trying to stop myself from letting go, from feeling, from expressing myself, from just being me in that moment

I have done this a lot over my life, numbing myself so I didn't feel and suppressing pain so deep because I didn't know how to deal with it but mainly because I didn't feel worthy

I didn't feel worthy of love

I had no idea back then that this was the start of my awakening

In the last two years, I have learnt so much

I now love myself and love my body, all of it, I love saying I'm voluptuous and curvy, I embrace that now

I allow myself to feel, really feel both pain and joy even if at times, it can really really hurt

I honour myself and have learnt to give myself pleasure, this is something I had never done until two years ago and my goodness how good does it feel

I listen to what I need to nourish myself and I mean really listen and I receive it with open arms

I've invested thousands in my development, trained in Tantra massage and as an Energy Alignment Mentor and attended so many workshops in this field to really expand my knowledge and my own personal expansion

This is paramount for me, to keep growing so I deepen the connection to myself but also every life that I touch both personally and professionally

And also means i continue to fly high, my favourite place to be

So much more to look forward to this year, I am love love loving it and have to pinch myself a lot at how different life is

** picture is me yesterday with my beautiful teacher Gayatri, so much love and gratitude for you my teacher and friend xx

YES YES YES

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 00:00:00 GMT

YES YES YES

That feeling when you really receive pleasure

I actually feel quite addicted to that feeling of surrender now and why not, I say

I LOVE to receive

I LOVE to surrender

But the truth is, it hasn't always been that way

The thought of receiving anything from another left me feeling racked with guilt and my first thought would be, how can I now give back now to help me feel better about myself

It's because I never thought i was worthy of receiving, in any way

I had such a low opinion of myself, of who I was , my body and anything else I could find

That freedom of being able to accept who you are so you are able to really receive love and indeed bundles of pleasure is a practice

And I want to show the world how they can truly truly receive love into their heart

Because when you do, you can give more fully too

Everyone benefits

Join me on one of my FREE Live Goddess Circle Experiences (first one Tuesday 26th at 7:30pm and for those day time peeps I am holding another on Wednesday 4th at 12:30m and I will share a practice to get you started.... I am so excited!)

You can register here - https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/goddesscirclelive

Do you know what it means to surrender, to really let go

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Do you know what it means to surrender, to really let go

I never had a clue

I never gave it any thought

I have had an up and down life like most

I just got on with things and rode the storms and never truly listened, let alone let go

Learning to surrender and let go is a practice but it starts with you listening, to acknowledge, to not try and suppress the things that hurt, to face them, to release them and set yourself free

I would love to tell you more - join me on my Goddess Live Experience next week where I will be sharing how you start a practice that will connect you to your essence, your truth, everything you need to set yourself free and step into your power

More details and link to register are here -

https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/goddesscirclelive

I am so bored with life

Sun, 20 Oct 2019 00:00:00 GMT

I am so bored with life

I feel trapped

I can't do what I want when I want

Mark is so unsupportive

I hate the way he talks to me

He doesn't take me seriously

I have all responsibility for Emily

I have no patience

I feel so angry

So Frustrated

I feel stuck

I just want to run away

I want to be free

That's how I was feeling, just 2.5 years ago before I started my journey into developing me, I felt so overwhelmed and everything around me felt strained, not that I told anyone, this was an internal battle and I was telling myself this all the time

I had never done anything for me before and the thought of it made me sick

But I had to do something

What I never realised is I was projecting all my stuff on to everyone around me, I wanted to run away from them but it was me I was really running away from

It was tough at first to understand that I had to take full responsibility for the way I was feeling

It wasn't anyone else's fault, it was mine

I am so glad I am out of this drama with myself now and although sometimes my old patterns crop up now and again, I recognise them straight away and clear them

It's all energy

and to be free - you have to take 100% responsibility for how you think and feel

Do you?

Start by reframining how you communicate both to others and to yourself

Start everything with 'I' , I feel this way, not 'You' make me feel like this

It's a practice but once you take ownership of YOU, you not only deepen the connection to yourself, your relationships will improve and you will feel light and free

Ah a lush time on our first couples tantra weekend

Sun, 13 Oct 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Mark and I just did our first Tantra weekend for couples

Not going to lie, as the weekend approached, I felt more and more nervous

This was something I had 'pushed' for ages, I felt like I was up levelling at such a speed and learning so much in this world and leaving Mark behind

We have practiced Tantra already that had already deepened our relationship but being the teacher in our relationship doesn't work as he quite often said this is your stuff

So Friday evening we arrived at a beautiful home in brighton with the lovely Sy and Ash (who are two of my phenomenal teachers) and two other couples for a weekend all about us, it was level one which although I knew a lot, i'd never done anything like this with Mark

Across the weekend, we practiced tantric breath work and intimacy practices that took away all expectation and any end goal...this wasn't about chasing an orgasm or about just having sex, this was about love, about unity and connection with ourselves and each other

But the biggest take out and what I teach all my client is, it starts with YOU

The practices start with the connection to self, where was I in that moment, how did I feel, was I able to open my heart and my energy to be truly seen and to be truly here right now

Or was I putting up a guard in some way, hiding part of myself because of fear, because of shame, because I couldn't bare to be honest, not truly anyway

Was I being responsible for myself? It really does come down to this in any relationship because if that isn't the case, a deep connection isn't possible

Mark and I have something special, I knew that anyway but there is so much more, So much more growth and expansion for us as individuals and us a partnership

This weekend was for Mark, well that's what I was telling myself and in some ways it was and it was so touching to see him let go and be seen and experience energy, he actually felt it without cracking a joke or telling me I'm a crazy woman...he now knows what I keep banging on about and to see him really feel it was just beautiful and really touched my heart

I have learnt so much about myself this weekend, no matter how much I grow and expand, there is always room for more growth

I let myself be seen this weekend, to be seen by Mark, be honest with my desires, my triggers and the work I am still yet to do

Although I also know you don't always have to understand it, you may never really know what it all means, it's just energy

It feels great to acknowledge all of that and after nearly 9 years together, feels like we have been reborn... reset to take our relationship to another place where we support each other with our individual journeys too and Mark now knows it isn't about Sex... It really is about so much more

The weekend was so much fun, we laughed, we cried, we had some beautiful walks in nature, delicious food, had such heart felt conversations with each other and other beautiful beings and spent a lot of time in bed... it was just so yummy and the space was so perfectly held, it was truly magical

I'm excited where this will take us and me with the wonderful work I already do in this space ...the world is our oyster they say x

The art of seduction

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 00:00:00 GMT

The art of seduction...

Been thinking a lot about this today and I step into my goddess energy more and more, I love to be seduced

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for a quickie and all things fast but there is something deliciously yummy about taking things slow and being seduced

So my question to you today is....

do you love to seduce or are you quite happy to be ravished my someone else....

I think I like it both ways depending on my mood xx

I never loved myself enough to put myself first

Sun, 15 Sep 2019 00:00:00 GMT

I never loved myself enough to put myself first

Everything and everyone was so much more important

I put my energy into everything outside of me as that felt easier then looking within and actually asking myself, what does Kerry need right now?

I used to think that loving yourself was selfish but I now know its one of the most Important things you can do in your life

When you put yourself first, you can meet your needs, it refreshes you, it makes you feel enriched with life and it means you are the best version of yourself for everyone around you

You may be thinking I don't know where to start, start with giving yourself some time to connect with you

Close your eyes and ask yourself what do I desire right now? What is my body asking me for?

Go on do it, don't let the negative thoughts creep in and tell you why you can't do it, just take action and do something little that is just for YOU

I would love you to let me know what act of self love you are going to commit to today?

And if you are interested in going on a journey of self discovery and love to find out more about you and your desires, come and join me and some other beautiful women that have said Yes to themselves

The fun starts tomorrow, PM me, if you would like to join us on this magical journey

www.holistickerry.co.uk/thegoddessawakening

It might surprise you but I used to hate being seen naked

Fri, 06 Sep 2019 00:00:00 GMT

It might surprise you but I used to hate being seen naked

I used to hide myself when I got undressed, hide in the changing rooms at the gym, trying to cover up what I thought was my disgusting body from anyone seeing me

I'd take off my bra under my top and then quickly put my PJs on turning away from Mark as I did it or get changed in another room if I could get away with it

I rarely had sex with the lights on

I never wanted my body to be seen, especially during sex because back then I never expressed who I was or what I wanted, I just lay there hiding because I felt so disgusting inside and for years I just punished myself for being Fat (well that's what I told myself!)

It was all I knew and was something that was just ingrained in me, to hide and not be seen and to feel this way about myself

I pinch myself every day for the way I feel now, my body hasn't changed that much in the last few years but my mindset has

Because the truth is, its not about your body, it's about you accepting you...just the way you are, lumps bumps and all

I work out now because I love the adrenalin I feel after a good workout, its my caffeine and it lights me up

Yes I am getting stronger but I love myself anyway, that's just a bonus

Part of my mission in the world is to get all women to love themselves, to stand proud naked in front of a mirror and love who they see

I never thought it was possible

It really is

If you are ready to release the negative thoughts you tell yourself and to start to love yourself for all the beautiful being that you are, then my Goddess Awakening journey could be for you, it starts on the 16th September with my early bird offer ending this Sunday

PM me for more details or you can find more details here and I would love to show how to find that love for yourself and embrace the beauty that is within us all

www.holistickerry.co.uk/thegoddessawakening

Today I celebrate Freedom

Sat, 24 Aug 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Today I celebrate Freedom... freedom from myself, freedom from all the hurtful things I told myself, freedom from all the things I believed that others said to me, freedom from a the pain I've held onto all my life

I'm free and it feels AMAZING

If you want to know more about how I set myself free, get in touch and I'd love to share more of the amazing work I do x

Today I experienced something so amazing

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Today I experienced something so amazing and I would love to share it with you because honestly I have to pinch myself how liberated I feel now, how far I have come in the freedom I feel in myself, the connection to who I really am and I would love a world where everyone felt like this

I never ever thought it was possible... That I would feel like a true goddess, I truly do and I want every woman on the planet to feel this way ....

So today...I had a beautiful experience of Shibari photo shoot which in Japanese means to tie decoratively and is a form of Japanese bondage - I was tied up in the name of art and it was an unbelievable experience

As you know I like to do things that are a little outside the box...and this was a present for myself for my upcoming 40th, a friend had it done and as soon as I saw the pics I was like oh yes that's a bit of me

I went along with a very good friend and it was so lovely to have her there to hold the space and support me

It was such a beautiful experience and I felt so at ease with the photographer, just comfortable being naked, honestly never thought I would ever feel like this in my life!

I tried lots of different poses using the ropes, tied up in various ways and even with my friend which was so magical, a real bond of the sisterhood

At first I was feeling quite masculine in energy but settled in to the feeling of surrender and really felt quite serene and relaxing to be honoured in this way

I then tried suspension, oh my that was insane, I loved that feeling of literally flying through the air naked!

Wow I really was a butterfly but my goodness the pain at first was so intense, I meditated my way through it because I just knew there was more and then wow, I entered into a realm of pleasure, I felt like I connected to my true higher self, to the higher consciousness of my being, I was in a trance and then I felt like I could just stay here for hours...and when I got down and was untied, I felt like I had taken LSD, I was rocking my body, moving all the energy around, I was still floating, I was in the midst of a full body energy orgasm, oh my...took me a while to come round from that, how blissful for my body to feel like that

It was so much fun, liberating and empowering to embrace my body in such a way and to be truly seen like this

What a fabulous birthday present and another experience to cherish and up level me, I can't wait to see the pictures, will post what I can get away with on here because you know what... I love myself and I don't mind if the whole world sees

.... its a magical bonus if my posts touch someone else's heart and they too start the journey to love who they are

My sharing is bigger then me, it's for all the lives I touch and when someone steps in their power, connects and learns to love themselves, we raise the vibration of the planet - this is why I do the work I do, my little part in changing the world to a place that is led by pure LOVE ❤️

I used to feel like I didn’t deserve to be happy

Sun, 18 Aug 2019 00:00:00 GMT

I used to feel like I didn’t deserve to be happy, I used to punish myself for anything I could think of

For being fat

For being tall

For being the one that always got bullied

For being different

For being loud

For anything that I could think of

The reason I did it was because deep inside, I didn’t think I was worthy of love

Especially from myself

I didn’t really know why at the time

I thought it was normal to feel like this

And it was the story I was telling myself all the time so it just become the norm

Do you feel like you are worthy of love?

If not, do you know why?

Doesn’t matter if you don’t know why

Just knowing that you don’t feel worthy of love is enough

You can then start to let those stories go

And how do you do that…

So many ways but firstly I would say the first step is to take time each day and listen to the stories you are telling your self

Write them down

Don’t run away from them anymore

Write them down and then set the intention to let one of them go

It’s scary at first as you may have had this story for years

It’s just a belief

And you can start to yourself something different - how do you want to feel?

And.... if you are ready for a journey to get to know you, embrace all that you are learn to Love yourself - check out my new Goddess Awakening Journey and PM me for more details..

https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/thegoddessawakening

I am beautiful

Sun, 04 Aug 2019 00:00:00 GMT

I am beautiful

Can you say those words to yourself without feeling sick

Or without your head saying no your not!

I never could and it took me 38 years to say those words to myself

I'd hear another voice saying

No you are not, you are fat, you are ugly

I'll never love myself

I did so much in my life to try and make myself feel good

Oh I'm a good person because I do lots of charity work

Oh I'm a good person because I help everyone

Oh I'm good person because my clients tell me I am

The thing is it didn't matter what anyone else told me, I didn't believe it

When no one was round, I was so unhappy inside

Well when I stopped anyway as that rarely happened

I was always trying to change me as I wasn't good enough

but at the same time, I never knew that I didn't love me, not really anyway as I never said it out loud and admitted to anyone so it wasn't really real

It was just my story I told myself

But then I realised that I was good enough and

I had everything within me to love me

I just never tried

I remember the first time I really acknowledged I never loved myself

It was only two years ago

I said it out loud and I owned it, I admitted it to myself and a room full of people

But since that awakening and that light bulb moment that for my whole life I'd been searching for something more but it was right here within me

To love yourself is the start of everything and now I have found that love for myself, there is no going back, it's the foundation of my life and as a result of that every area of my life has benefited

Its a practice though and I have learnt so much along the way and that's why I am now working with other women to show them how they can learn to love all that they are

Are you ready to find out how you can awakening that love from within you?

It's really possible and you just have to be ready to say Yes to yourself

Drop me a message or ❤️my post and ill be in touch with details on my Goddess Awakening journey which starts in September

How do you feel in your underwear?

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 00:00:00 GMT

How do you feel in your underwear?

Do you feel sexy, radiant and gorgeous inside and out?

I used to hate my underwear

I used to feel embarrassed if anyone saw it and would hide away when I got changed

It was old

It was baggy

But it reflected how I was feeling inside

I felt deflated

I felt like I wanted to hide

I hated my body

I was always thinking about what I used to look like and how my body had changed

I wasn’t accepting me as I was now and

I was always reluctant to spend money on myself because I was waiting to lose more weight

Or to feel good about myself and this went on for years

Then I realised that unless I started to take steps to make myself feel good, I never would shift the the pattern of not loving me

First I acknowledged that I had to love me for who I was right now and not a changed version of me

I always looked at the beautiful underwear in the shops and thought maybe one day

And then one day I decided that’s what I would invest in
I popped to M&S and got measured and it was like something out of pretty woman, I said kit me out and they were coming to me with all sorts of colours and shapes that I had never tried before, it was great

I have quite big boobs so wanted something that was supportive but I also wanted a sexy cleavage

I don’t wear thongs anymore but I got myself some sexy big knickers that fitted well and gave me confidence, big knickers can be sexy too you know!

I invested in me and I cannot express how great it feels
Wearing nice underwear makes a HUGE difference and it’s not for anyone else

It’s for YOU

But I also love showing my underwear off now

Because I feel sexy, radiant and I ooze confidence when I am in it

So how do you feel in yours?

Does it make you feel

��Sexy

��Powerful

��Confident

��Gorgeous

And most importantly does it make you feel like the beautiful goddess that you are?

And if not, maybe today is the day to clear out those drawers and invest in some nice underwear for YOU

Go on, do it, I know you will love it! ��

When was the last time you were truly seen

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 00:00:00 GMT

When was the last time you were truly seen

Seen by another, exactly as you are

I remember the first time, I was truly seen by another

I was in a Tantra workshop and I stood there in just a sarong

I was working with a beautiful soul who I had just met

I felt a bit nervous because I'd never done anything like this

It was a simple practice yet so so powerful

At first we connected in the eyes

Soul to soul

Two hearts connecting

At first I felt sadness, shame and embrassment as I stood there being witnessed

I didn't feel beautiful, I wanted to run away but I knew that what I was feeling was just conditioning

Conditions I had put on myself on how I Should look

Conditions others had put on me about how I should be

There I was, standing there and I could feel the love from them, they didn't see the things I felt

They saw the beauty in me

In all of me

After a few minutes, my body began to soften, I let down the barriers to receive the love

I started to cry

Wow, I had never received love like this, love with no conditions, with no need to give back but just to receive

To be honoured exactly as I was with all the tears

With all the vulnerability, just me, stripped back

From that day, I started to feel the beauty in me

I had connected to my soul, allowed myself to receive love, really receive and for the first time, let myself love me

It's been a journey to really learn to love me but every day I deepen that love, it really is a practice

I would love every being on the planet to experience this, it's just such a beautiful honouring and I know if everyone in the world loved themselves a little more every day, it would absolutely transform every area of their life

I am so blessed to now be working with others so they can connect to their inner beauty and learn to love and accept themselves exactly as they are

If you'd like to know, PM me for more details on the tantric experiences I offer xx

Today I am deep in thought about the WILD WOMAN in me

Thu, 04 Jul 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Today I am deep in thought about the WILD WOMAN in me

It's something that has always been part of me but a part I never embraced and most of the time ignored or tried to suppress her in some way

It could mean different things to different people

For me, it's the inner zest, the goddess in me, the one that knows exactly what she wants, she is so connected to herself that it can sometimes feel so raw, so liberating

She is in love with life

She embraces everything

She is free

I think we all have this side to us regardless of gender

Are you embracing yours and flying high?

Self Pleasure used to be a dirty word for me

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Self pleasure used to be a dirty word for me

I thought it was disgusting to touch yourself

Why would you do that

That's wrong

I felt that disconnected with the thought of self pleasure that I never did it for the first 37 years of my life

I think it was because of a lot of things

I associated that area with the trauma I'd gone through as a child and growing up, it wasn't an area that was linked with happy times

I didn't love my body

I didn't love who I was

I was ashamed of myself for never speaking up when something wasn't right

I was embarrassed that I didn't know how to show love to myself

I struggled to receive from anyone but especially from myself

When I started my Tantra journey. I learnt to connect to my body, to appreciate it exactly as it was

I released the shame I felt

I forgave myself for all the years I ignored myself, especially my yoni, I ignored the pain, the yearning to just be witnessed

It was just too painful for me

I now practice self pleasure regularly and its so important

For me to connect to my body

With no end goal

Just to give my beautiful body love

To get to know it

To understand how I like to be touched

That also enhances the intimacy between me and Mark because I know my body

This morning, I made time to give myself some love

I cried, it was a huge relief

Life has been busy and I haven't made the time to just spend that time with myself for a while

Its normally part of my every day

It was a good reminder of the power of connecting to you, it's vital to living a life in alignment

This is a your reminder...can you give yourself some self pleasure today?

Are you in love with your partner but you’ve had no intimacy for what feels like forever

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Are you in love with your partner but you’ve had no intimacy for what feels like forever

You wouldn’t even know where to start

You used to enjoy sex

You’ve forgot what real pleasure really feels like

You’ve given up trying

You are too scared to try

Sometimes you feel like you’re happy like this – you are best friends

But other times you yearn for touch, for how things used to be

Intimacy and connection takes work and starts outside the bedroom

I often hear, we don't even have a cuddle and then when we go to bed, he/she wants action and there is no chance, I'm not feeling it

I've been there too, I get it

When you are intimate, you really feel in to each other and making love feels like the most natural thing in the world

Sometimes just admitting that you could do with some support in this area is the first step

I’ve just launched my 8 week intimacy and couples programme and I would absolutely love to take you on a journey to get to know each over intimately again

If this talks to you but you are not even sure if your partner will say yes or you have so many questions – let’s have a call and we can see whether we are a match ☺

Find out more about the beautiful 8 week journey and to book a call with me – check out my page - https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/couplesprogramme

Did you know that looking someone in the eye

Sat, 15 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Did you know that looking someone in the eye's can be more intimate then sex?

When we look at someone in the eyes, we connect to their inner being, we connect to their soul

In all relationships, having eye contact increases the way we connect with each other

When you are in love and in a romantic relationship with someone, adopting a regular eye contact practice can have a positive impact on the levels of intimacy you have, both in an outside the bedroom

Try this really simple yet amazingly powerful practice with your partner today

1) sit opposite each other crossed legs or in a chair

2) connect in the eyes

3) Take a deep breath with each other

4) continue to breathe and connect in the eyes with each other for two minutes

If you are feeling distant and yearn for connection with each other - gives this a go

If you are annoying each other and getting on each others nerves - give this a go and feel the tension slip away

It can also be used as foreplay....believe me, it's great but try it for yourself

Try 2 minutes first

See how that feels, it may feel uncomfortable to begin with, you may want to laugh and that's fine, if you find it hard, just breathe...

At the end of the two minutes, give each other a cuddle as a thank you for all you've shared

Last night I talked about this and other tantric practices on my webinar for couples, it was truly beautiful and I loved sharing some of the things I have learnt on my magical journey

If you would like to take a look - you can sign up here and ill send you the replay - www.holistickerry.co.uk/coupleswebinar

I also spoke briefly about my couples programme, an 8 week beautiful journey intimacy and connection journey... you can find more details here - www.holistickerry.co.uk/couplesprogramme and please message me if you'd like me to tell you more, starts 1st July :)

Wow, what a weekend, just perfect

Sun, 09 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Wow what a Truly Magical EAM Weekend and I got the opportunity to get on the stage and share my story

It was a weekend all about RELATIONSHIPS and CONNECTION to YOU and your LOVED ONES - wow the transformation is the room was phenomenal and I am so proud to be one of the amazing mentors alongside the beautiful Yvette Taylor , we seriously rocked the show!

I talked about the journey I have been on to embrace the REAL me, I talked about Love, Connection and the power of connecting to your SEXUAL ENERGY

To stop running away from the things I supressed all my life and set myself free from the trauma I experienced in my past

How I learnt to open my heart, to receive love and allow myself to be loved

To fall in love with myself

To let myself be seen

So I could then fall in love with Mark without the fear of being hurt again

I have to say for the first time EVER I didn't get the nervous heart beat in my throat

I felt empowered, I stood in my beautiful goddess power, my words flowed and I felt connected completely to my heart

EAM, alongside my Tantra journey has been a HUGE part in my transformation and I want to share this with the world and inspire as many people as possible to find the inner beauty within them so they can connect to the people they love

This week is an exciting week for me.... I have three interviews (will share details soon!) and my first webinar at 8pm on Friday

How to deepen intimacy and connection in your relationship

I will be sharing some beautiful love tips and tantric practices to get the love flowing between you and enhance the love you already share

and if you can only make it alone, come anyway and bring a mirror and it can be a night of LOVE for YOU

Click here to join - https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/coupleswebinar

Would truly love you to be there xx

I am sure you know the saying

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

I am sure you know the saying – I just laid back and thought of England

This is often what people say when they are having sex with their partner and I hear it all the time

They think they have to tick a box so it makes their partner happy

It’s your duty to have sex with your partner isn’t it?

It’s what couples do, so I just lay back, let it happen and just hope that it is quick

Honestly, how many of us have thought that?

I know in the past I have

But the fact is you should never just do something because you think it’s your duty and you should never be lying there and thinking about the washing or something you need to be doing somewhere else

In order for us to have amazing sex in the bedroom, we need to:

�� Want to be there – like honestly, really want to be there, if we don’t it’s important that you spend some time to understand why, what is it missing?

��Be fully present with each other – if you feel your mind wandering, connect back to where you are, how does it feel?
Does it feel nice? Or would you like something different?

�� Say if you would like something different – our partners are not mind readers, if they are not hitting the right spot or doing the things you fantasise about, tell them

Sex is amazing when you are truly connected with yourself and each other and it takes practice

But you should never lay back and think of England, there is too much pleasure to be experienced in this life – go and get some by making these changes TODAY

If you would like to learn some more tips to deepen the love and intimacy in the bedroom and experience some magic live, I’m running a FREE webinar next Friday 14th June at 8pm – click below to join and don’t worry if you can’t catch it live, ill send you the replay

https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/coupleswebinar

Wow, what a crazy few days it has been

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Wow, what a crazy few days it has been

I have been riding some big waves but I am still above water and still loving the journey

I was absolutely blown away by the response to my post on Sensual Conscious Kink, it was read by over 400 people (wow, wow, wow) and I received loads of fabulous messages from people wanting to know more

I also had some comments that it maybe wasn’t the sort of thing I should share it's quite private and very intimate

I get that it’s not for everyone and I share my experiences and my journey because part of my mission is to make a difference every day and to inspire the masses

I know I do that and most importantly I LOVE sharing

All feedback is welcomed though as I am learning every day and it’s all part of my growth and up levelling

This week, I have taken some couples on a little love journey to get to know one another

It’s been so lovely sharing some of the key things that have transformed my relationship

It has to start somewhere and the three things I shared were the foundations of that
1) To stop pushing each other to change
2) To communicate and connect with each other EVERYDAY
3) Plan quality time with each other

They may seem like common sense and they really are but are you actually doing it?

If you missed it, here is a link to day one to get you started- https://www.facebook.com/holistickerry/videos/480377702768858/

And I am now planning something exciting for next week - my FREE webinar on how to How to deepen love and intimacy in your relationship

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, you can sign up here -
https://www.holistickerry.co.uk/coupleswebinar

Wow, how grateful I am for the life I am living right now :)

A day of conscious sensual kink

Sun, 02 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Sensual conscious kink – I didn’t really know what that really meant, I knew about BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism - think fifty shades if you don’t know what that means) and I have dabbled in this. The combination of sensual and kink is a perfect match for me and after a day full of so much thought and so much desire and fulfilment, I feel blessed to have experienced it

One of the questions I was asked today is how do I want to be touched? I am normally ok with this question in one of my Tantra workshops but in this setting there was so much to explore….so much depth and so many ideas.

I have experienced quite a few toys and types of kinky touch in the bedroom with mark but never in this intimate setting where I had so much choice to explore the depths and edges of myself

Over lunch, I was feeling a little impatient and eagerly waiting for more experience but I was also in deep reflection about my life at home and how much I love it and how much I love Mark and the journey we are on together, it’s so much softer and we are so considerate of each other now.

I always get asked, how does he let you do this stuff on your own? Is he ok with it?

The real truth is, he is and we talk about everything from both of our perspectives. I remember this time last year, I never considered mark as much as I do now, it was all about me and the craziness I was feeling inside. It’s now about us both, we really consider each other and we really listen, we communicate and we hear each other.

So back to today, I am most definitely outside my comfort zone but I am intrigued, excited and feel very connected to myself. So I decided I would be happiest going last so I could really learn from others and feel into it a bit more.

The thing is I have had so many ideas in my head about scenes I would love to play out, fantasies and dreams but the thought of it being a reality is something else

Being in a giving role is a default for me and I loved being able to explore a more dominant side of myself, definitely like the idea of exploring that further in the world of kink. I have always been quite dominant in character but also quite enjoy being in more submissive role, think it all depends on what mood I am in really and that’s the joy of really knowing yourself and how you are in that moment and also know this can change too.

So now it was my turn, I felt like I had waited forever for this moment. I knew exactly what I wanted but I was scared to communicate it at first, I suppose it was fear of judgement, fear of them thinking ‘blimey, she wants that?!’

First I had to have a word with myself though as I was so nervous but I knew this was the ideal space for me to try this and it was ok if I didn’t like it and could stop it at any time. I was in complete control here and once I had communicated it, I felt so empowered, I had visualised this picture of myself and here I was asking for it.

The beautiful beings I worked with were amazing. They were so present, they really met me and did exactly what I wanted, said the words I wanted to hear. The space was wonderfully held and I knew I could explore all the edges of this experience.

I experienced pain, so much pleasure and I was awakened through all of myself, it was exhilarating, pulsating every part of me, I was alive, I was met with everything I desired and I felt euphoric.

Wow, wow, wow, how did all that happen in 15 minutes

Afterwards, I asked for some space to I can really feel the ripples of that pleasure through me and space to accept what came. I then asked to be held and feel the warmth of the people that had given me everything I desired

My first experience of conscious sensual kink and it has opened up another dimension of my journey and I just can’t wait to explore more.

I am now sitting on the grass outside a beautiful church, the energy here is so powerful, I feel so enriched and so blessed with all I am experiencing now.

I am really yearning for my mark though, I just want to snog his face off and might even ask him to spank me when I get home…. ha-ha, now there’s a nice thought!

On my way home, I listened to the radio– the first two songs were perfect for the way I was feeling, first the pointer sisters…. I felt every word and sang my heart out

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll put all other things aside
Give in this time and show me some affection
We're goin' for those pleasures in the night
I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you

And then Lisa Stansfield Change came on which made me cry with happiness

If I could change the way I live my life today
I wouldn't change a single thing
'Cause if I changed my world into another place
I wouldn't see your smiling face

Absolutely perfect songs for how I was feeling in that moment

I really wouldn't change a thing

I’m now home, with my beautiful family with a new sense of fulfilment and enriched beyond even the words I have expressed here.

Are you blaming having kids affecting your relationship with each other?

Mon, 20 May 2019 00:00:00 GMT

For those of you that have children, you may be very familiar with the excuse of not having any time for each other or no intimacy because you have children

You might catch yourself saying you just don’t have the time or you are always tired and since you've had children, you just don’t feel like it anymore.

The fact is when we have kids, our life certainly changes but the way we find time for each will change too

But that can also be fun

When I was on holiday, we were in the same room as my little one which provided some interesting adaption

I don’t generally feel comfortable being intimate in the same room (even if we are super quiet!) but it meant we were a lot more creative with our time together

We had fun in the shower when the little one slept, had beautiful snatches of intimacy, snogs and beautiful hugs when the mood caught us

We didn’t have sex nearly as much as we normally do but our intimacy levels most definitely increased and meant when we did make love, it was even more yummy

The first step to making changes when you find yourself distracted by life (and quite often the little ones) is to:

�� Sit down and have a chat about what you both would really like in terms of intimacy and don’t be surprised if it’s different, we are all wired differently and relationships are all about compromise

�� Set an intention to be intimate EVERYDAY and remember that doesn’t have to mean SEX – maybe you can just agree that you will start your day with a beautiful kiss and end it with a cuddle

You have to start somewhere and YES life is busy but your relationship is important

Make time, communicate to each other and feel the magic of being connected

Sometimes men can find it hard to say how they feel

Sun, 19 May 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Today as the sunrises, I'm reflecting on my day yesterday

I'm on a Tantra weekend celebrating the masculine, it's so beautiful to see Men embrace all that they are, the strength and powerful as the masculine as well as the tenderness

My reflection and from my personal experience in my own relationship is this

Sometimes men in our lives (and can apply to all beautiful beings really) can find it hard to express how they really are, especially if they are in a tender place so they may do the opposite and push you away

Take a moment and ask yourself

What's really going on

Do they just need some Love

Send love, even if your energy may be feeling a little off because of their energy, its how they are feeling, it's likely it isn't you

They don't mean it

They just don't know how to say they just want to held and told that everything is going to be ok

When I felt bored with my relationship, I looked everywhere else in my life but to the man I loved

Thu, 16 May 2019 00:00:00 GMT

✨ When I felt bored with my relationship, I looked everywhere else in my life but to the man I loved

Was he for me? Was there more for me to experience

I was going through a crazy time in my life and had just lost one of my best friends and I was scared

Scared to love someone or for them to love me

So I told myself I was bored and I needed to get out of the family life I had built over the last 8 years

I just wanted to live, to do all the things that I had dreamt of, to be wild, to have no responsibilities and to be free

I distanced myself from someone I loved because I was scared and because I didn’t want to be left behind

The one thing that stopped me from running too far was to be HONEST with how I was feeling and what really was going on, even It was soooo hard to actually admit how I was feeling

There was snot, there was so many tears but just having that conversation and really being clear on how I was feeling, really made a HUGE difference

If you feel like this in anyway I would ask yourself the following:

�� Are you being honest with the things you are really thinking?

�� What has changed for you in your life and do YOU want different things?

�� Are you communicating this to your partner?

The thing is when you start being honest with who you really are, you are able to connect to each other

No masks, no pretending, just be yourself and it is so much easier when you are because then you can be free

Are you ready to be free?

Connection always starts with you first

Mon, 13 May 2019 00:00:00 GMT

In order to connect to others, whether that be a lover, your partner or friends and family, connection to yourself comes first

Do you take time each day to listen to YOU?

Are you aware of your thoughts?

Do you acknowledge them? Even the ones that feel uncomfortable

If we don't take the time to listen to ourselves, then we are not able to really get to know who we truly are

What are we really thinking and are we meet ourselves and what we desire across all aspects of our lives?

Here are a few ways you can deepen the connection to yourself today

✨ Take time each day to just be with yourself and your thoughts - start with 5 minutes and just sit down and listen and acknowledge all that you are - as the thoughts come in, acknowledge and let them pass and eventually your mind will rest and you can enjoy some silence and time just to be at one with yourself

✨ Journal each day - I would recommend spending some time each morning and acknowledge how you are feeling - it may be as simple as I am tired and then set intentions for your day - how do you want to be today?

✨ Take a mindful shower instead of rushing, take the time to connect to your body - how is it feeling? are you achy? how does it feel to wash your body? What does the shower gel smell of? Connect to yourself, your body and how it REALLY feels

Have a go and let me know whether that made a difference to the relationships around you

Here is the man I love

Tue, 07 May 2019 00:00:00 GMT

Here is the man I love ��

For years it was something that I never admitted to

Never to him and never to myself

The thing is after one failed marriage, I always thought I could never give my heart to a man again, not fully anyway

And what I mean by that is allow myself to really love him and allow him to love me too

I used to tell myself that I am waiting to find someone that ticks all the boxes but I didn’t even though what those boxes were

I was just putting barriers in the way

Mark ticks all the boxes and yesterday I sat down and told him the reason why

I looked him straight in the eyes and told him why I loved him

It was magical and it was moving and we had a beautiful kiss and cuddle at the end which then turned into a family cuddle with Ems, it was perfect

When was the last time you sat down and told your partner how much you love them?

Have you ever really gave yourself space to appreciate who they are and why you love them so much?

You may have not given it any thought for a while, take some time today, close your eyes and focus on them and make time today to do it

Don’t think about it too much, connect to your heart and say it

What I would say is look each other in the eye, really be with each other, be fully present and really listen to the words you receive and let your words be received too

It really is truly beautiful and will create an amazing connection with you both ��

I have a dream and would love to share it with you....

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 20:54:19 GMT

I have a dream and I would love to share it with you all...

It all links to the reason I jump out of bed each day - I love to make a difference to people’s lives EVERY single day and to help transform as many lives as possible

I have always had a dream to open up a community café, It’s something that I have always thought of since I stumbled across this beautiful Café on my travels in Thailand 10 years ago

It made me feel excited, it made me feel alive, the energy of the place was just beautiful

Up until now, this is something I have only really shared with one of my best friends Jennifer Bigwood , Mark Hawkins , Yvette Taylor and today with the fabulous Su Winsbury

I think about it when I talk about abundance – what if I had everything I desired and still loads more money, what else would I spend it on?

I would LOVE to open up A pay it forward café

One that was the heart and soul of a community, that spread joy and happiness everyday giving back to those that are not able to treat themselves to a latte or a yummy sandwich in a beautiful environment

A place where people could come for support and company

Where people can meet friends, play board games and read inspirational books

A place where people could work from and feel motivated and inspired by those around them

A place that held workshops and talks that transform people’s lives

A place that had amazing energy

This is very much in my vision and I wanted to share it with you all so I’ve put out into the universe

I know one day it will be a reality but first step is saying it out loud

Thank you for listening  ��

Tantric practices to build intimacy in your relationship

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 10:39:48 GMT

There are so many ideas about what Tantra is, for me Tantra is about connection, firstly being truly connected to ourselves so we can then connect more deeply with others.

It’s a connection of our mind, body and spirit allowing us to really drop into our bodies awakening all of our senses and giving permission to express ourselves and what our needs and desires are in the moment.

In relationships, practicing Tantra brings us into a connection where we become one. We are completely open to receiving love from each other, giving ourselves fully to the other whilst being true to ourselves and expressing and facing our fears as we grow our love together.

Sometimes in relationships we can find that one person desires intimacy more than the other and this can sometimes cause friction and pressure to 'perform' when we really don't want too and that can then lead to months and sometimes years of no intimacy at all.

And by intimacy – I mean connection with each other and this can take so many forms from looking at each other in the eyes, giving each other a hug, having conscious sensual touch or making love.

My clients often say we are friends more than lovers and that they like it that way, we are not bothered really but its only when we delve a bit deeper, we realise that they actually miss the intimacy they once had with each other, they've just forgotten what it feels like and because this new way of life now feels comfortable, none of the them are willing to make the first move as they fear rejection or that they may not enjoy it.

Below are some tantric practices to bring intimacy back in to your relationship and it may surprise you what they are...this is the start of the connection, almost like a first date:

Practice Eye Gazing

This is one of the simplest ways to build intimacy. When was the last time you looked at each other in the eyes? Sounds crazy but it really does work as the eyes are connected to your soul. You don’t need to exchange any words or touch, just spending some time looking each other in the eyes is enough to connect you. Give it a go, practice it for a few minutes each and make sure that you keep breathing throughout. End the practice with a beautiful hug for a minimum of 20 seconds – left side to left side so your hearts connect.

Self-pleasure alone

Yes this can really help you be intimate with each other and the reason why is because awakening the connection with yourself first will allow you to be more open with touch from another, you will get to you know your own body and understand the type if touch that you love to receive and the parts of your body that love to be touched.

Remove all agenda and concentrate on how it feels to be touched by you, what type of touch do you like? What parts of your body yearn for love? Take your time, maybe start with your face or an arm and explore, remember to breathe and let sound out as you get to know yourself. Really take your time and remember to breathe and express any sounds that come out and move your body if you think it will enhance your experience. Breath, sound and movement are all key ways to awaken pleasure within you and to move the energy around so you experience pleasure throughout your body.

Spend some time together talking about how you feel about intimacy in your relationship

What do you desire and what do you miss? This may be something you have never really spoken about and your desires may have changed. Maybe there is something really wild you have always dreamed of that you have never told a soul...it could just be a fantasy or it could be something that you would really love to try.

Be honest with each other - you could make this chat as part of a date night to make it more interesting but the key here is just to be honest and open as to how you are really feeling.

when you are in the listening role, to really honour what you are hearing and be grateful for this space for you to be YOU

Spend time touching each other’s bodies whilst clothed without rushing into sex

Sometimes in relationships we tend to default into what we have always done and its over quicker then we'd like and we are left feeling unfulfilled. Try this lovely game to get you to really feel and appreciate each other’s bodies and really appreciate the parts of you that may be missed or not appreciated for some time

1) Sit fully clothed opposite each other

2) Take 3 deep breaths together whilst having eye contact

3) Decide who is going first

4) The person that is receiving touch first, close your eyes and the giver first take your partner in, really look at that them and observe their face and their body before you

5) Now close your eyes

6) Reach out and really slowly and delicately feel around their face, really take your time, feeling every part of them as if you were drawing them on paper, Really feel into the exercise and spend at least 5 minutes each doing this to each other

7) Set a clock if that helps you be more present

8) You may want to both giggle at first as this is the first time you have done anything...let yourself laugh and don't forget to breathe, make sound if you feel like it and move your body if you feel like it will help you drop more into the exercise

I am on a mission for others to deepen the connection to themselves and each other so please share with anyone else you think may love this too

Happy connecting lovelies and enjoy incorporating some Tantra into your life xx

Feel like you and your partner are drifting apart? Here's three tips that transformed my relationship

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 18:21:27 GMT

Alongside my journey of self-discovery, I have also been on a transformation in my relationship with my partner over the last few years. We have gone from a place where I used to feel frustrated and that we were drifting apart and even after 8 years, we didn't really know each other, I felt like I was on my own journey and he was being left behind

We've always had a great sex life to be honest but I remember always saying to him that we were great in bed but outside of that, it was like we were strangers.

Its only over the last few weeks that I've really appreciated how far we have come and it’s the reason why I am so passionate about helping couples reconnect with each other, it really is no fun when you are living with someone that you don’t feel connected to.

So here are some of the key things that have changed within our relationship and made us fall in love and for me, I think it’s actually for the first time:

Talk to each other and say how you REALLY feel

This is so key. If we can't be authentic and explain what you are thinking and feeling, how can your partner feel comfortable to be themselves too? All that happens is you are both wearing a mask and you lose touch with who YOU are. The thing is and what we don’t necessarily acknowledge, is you can't connect deeply with your partner if you are not connected to yourself.

Plan quality time for each other

This used to feel like a chore for us, we would get so stressed as we felt like it was something we HAD to do and the plans were really rushed so when the date night finally came, we didn't really enjoy the time together. Now we plan quality time and ask each other what they would like to do so when we do have the joy of child free time, it really does feel like quality and is something that fulfils both of us.

Stop pushing each other to Change

I used to be a right nag, constantly telling my partner that he needed to read the books I was reading or do the courses I did, that he needed to change and stop not living his life in the way he was. You know what, it NEVER got me anywhere. He never did any of the things I did and I think even if he was tempted, he wasn't going too because I was telling him to do it.

So I stopped pushing and he started to doing more to light him up, found his own way to enrich his life and he has grown as a person alongside me, not my way but his way and that was so fulfilling for him

We have both grown as a result of these things and it has really helped us connect as a couple too and have to say it feels great.

Relationships evolve all the time, we are continually changing as individuals but as long as we keep communicating, you can grow together too.

Happy connecting x

The power of letting things go that don't serve us

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 23:35:13 GMT

I spent the day at The Ultimate Self Help LIVE Event on Saturday and as always at these events, it blew me away all the transformations I saw before my eyes. In the past I have always worked for the entire event but this time, I was there as a mentor for one day only and what a day it was.

We hold on to some much that doesn’t serve us, I know that from my journey and the thoughts and the beliefs that I held about myself all my life because someone told me I was fat, I was a boffin, I was even called a donkey for years! I mean who would actually think that a word ‘donkey’ would actually cause me years of turmoil. And the reason it did, wasn’t because I was offended by the word but because I thought they called me it because I was fat, turns out they called me it because I was tall, like Tony Adams the arsenal footballer, I found that out when I was 18 when I had the courage to ask, this was years after when one of the boys was telling me how proud they were that I was off to university and was sorry for all the grief they gave me when we were younger. Just shows you how powerful the mind can be in telling you something different. For years, I had bulimia because I wanted to change who I was and to stop the taunting I was receiving. I thought if I got slimmer, it would stop but it never changed and I carried on getting bullied even at university. The reason the banter and people winding me up really affected me was because this was my self-talk, it can tell you a story that isn’t true but the more you hear it, it becomes your reality. See, it actually doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about you, all that really matters is what you think of yourself.

We all have stuff that we hold onto that doesn’t serve us and a lot of the time, we are not even aware. It may be that we just don’t feel right, we have headaches continually or we have a recurring medical condition, it’s just your body’s way of telling you that you have resistance in your body. It’s all energy though and can all be released.

At the event, we released butterflies in stomachs, sickly feelings in throats, negative thoughts and beliefs, they didn’t need to know why, just released what they were thinking and feeling. The tears came, the release happened and the person on the other side was radiant and bright. Things come up in our life all the time that will trigger us but knowing when something is not serving you is the first step in setting you free.

EAM really is phenomenal and every time I work with someone it reminds me of the power of it, I’m seeing so many people’s lives changed, I have learnt so much and feel so proud of the journey I have been on to get here. On Saturday, I showed up as the Sexual energy specialist and it felt fabulous. Every day I pinch myself that I am now doing what I was meant to do in this world… whoop whoop!

Why self-pleasure is key to your happiness and vitality for life

Sun, 06 Jan 2019 21:58:24 GMT

So this weekend I attended a course which was all about self-pleasure and orgasmic empowerment and it opened me up to a whole new realm and was another new experience for me.

In my life, I’ve had a lot of pleasure from others, through food, through music, through spending time with those I love but never from myself, well not to be a point of fulfilment anyway and I always knew it as an area that I was due to explore.

I remember the first time I touched myself and realised that it felt nice to do that to myself. I remember it so well, I was in the bath, no idea what age I was but I know that I felt so naughty and almost ashamed that I was doing it, I told myself that it was wrong and then I never did it again.

I remember speaking with a friend and she mentioned that she couldn't wait to get home to self-pleasure. I told her I didn't do it and she nearly fell off her chair, what do you mean she said, you don't touch yourself? I then felt ashamed that I didn't.

In my twenties, I got myself a rabbit (one of the famous vibrators at the time) at an Ann Summers party, I remember when it arrived thinking what the hell do I do with that, I was mortified. I used it with my partner and never on my own.

When my marriage broke up, I tried again but my mind just wouldn't shut up...now it was ah what a shame you have to do it on your own, why are you so desperate for an orgasm, should you be doing this Kerry. I stopped trying.

Then last year when I discovered Tantra, I realised it was an area that I was still avoiding and if I now really loved myself, why wasn't this part of my life. Whenever I tried to self-pleasure, I could never do without some other kind of other stimulus...using toys, watching porn or being watched. There is nothing wrong with that but I knew then I was in my head or I was trying to get to a goal, to release the frustration I felt or to meet the yearning that I felt deep inside my yoni and after I orgasmed, I was still left unfulfilled.

When I saw the course, I knew that it was for me, this is what I have be looking for, to be empowered by my own orgasmic vitality. We all have the tools to do this and it seems absolutely crazy to me that this is not something that is embedded into us. Well it is for some of us, I'm sure but I also know we are a nation of self-critics and to touch ourselves, to love our bodies can sometimes bring up shame, guilt, embarrassment and even disgust, I have felt all those things but this weekend I felt so beautiful. My body felt so amazing, I felt sexy, I felt vibrant and I felt alive.

Yesterday, I felt my G spot and my cervix for the first time. In my work, I have felt other women’s but never my own. I explored them and I gave them love and they thanked me. Did you know that your yoni has a voice of it's own, I would really invite you to try and listen to it. It really does tell you when it’s happy or also when it's not.

I wrote this afterwards:

I felt my G Spot for the first time and it felt aroused and bigger then I imagined

I felt the beauty of it, in all its forms, the beautiful ridges, felt its energy, felt it pulsate and felt the life force within it

My yoni enjoyed it and the peacefulness inside, like the sunshine has just popped from behind the clouds

I felt the waves of relaxation as my body softened. I felt my yoni expand, felt its opening. It thanked me for taking my time, for being gentle and acknowledging how it wanted to be touched

Wow how beautiful to have met myself like this for the first time, I felt alive but this feels so different, slower and softer like a rose bud just beginning to open

Today we discussed the importance of breath, sound, movement and visualisation...our mind and bodies are super powerful and I found myself in orgasmic states just using sound, I think I could actually make myself orgasm with my voice alone.

We did another guided self-pleasure practice today and the space was held so beautifully, I felt myself surrender and I feel so proud of myself. I moved and rocked my pelvis, I let myself say what I wanted to say, I never held back, It wasn't about reaching orgasm, it was about experiencing pleasure. I loved how it made me feel. I felt so liberated and my whole body was pulsating with pleasure

I wrote this after we had finished:

Wow I did that all by myself, I found my own pleasure with my fingers and I have felt that fulfilment within me.

To just enjoy touch, to really listen, to expand my throat and voice and say what I wanted to say. I pleasured myself and was not in my head but in my body

My body is beautiful

My energy is mine

I have all I need within me

I am a butterfly and I am free

Free from myself and any of the expectations I have always put on myself

I'm flying higher and find myself on another level once again
Kerry you are truly amazing, I love you

I can't believe I am saying these things about myself, this is a huge shift in me and it still bring ups feeling of, can I really say this stuff out loud, but I know this is my truth and part of my journey

As beings, we spend so much time rushing around, what if we made self-pleasure one of our priorities like eating, drinking and brushing our teeth. It's been a part of my life for a couple of years now but not like this and I'm so excited now to experiment with all what I have learned this weekend, I have it all within me, it just needs to be tapped into and awakened.

My world has already been expanded to new levels from tapping into my sexual energy and there are still areas that I know I want to explore but imagine how much more I can manifest if I made it part of my world every day. And it doesn't necessarily mean intimate pleasure either, pleasure is a huge area and first you have to identify what pleasure actually means for you?

I have so much to share and part of my mission is to empower others to truly love themselves and the first step is to understand what's getting in the way of them letting that resistance go. I would love a world where everyone is empowered to love who they are, every part of them, what a wonderful world that would be, based on the foundation of self-love and orgasmic vitality.

I chose this life, who would like to join me?

My 2018 has been pretty amazing...

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 21:56:24 GMT

Wow what a year it has been, sitting here thinking I need to put it into words as so much has happened, I've definitely up levelled and feel like I'm a different person from a year ago....I'm not going to lie I actually said out loud earlier, how can 2019 top this one although I know deep down its going to be amazing and can only really get better

This year, I have been on a journey to get to know myself, a rollercoaster of craziness which lead me to:

❤️ Qualify as an EAM Mentor and I’m now supporting my own group on the 10 month journey that helped transformed my life

❤️ Trained as a Tantra Practitioner, launched my new business and new website and am now following my passion and the work I am here for in the world which feels incredible

❤️ I've performed solos and spoke about my journey in front of hundreds of people, I’ve been interviewed on radio and by other influential coaches and my blogs have been read by 1000's of people

❤️ I had my first ever photo shoot and shared my pictures online, even those I knew would raise some eyebrows, it just me after all

❤️ I was painted naked as a beautiful butterfly and cat walked in a show, the butterfly has been my symbol of 2018 and really depicts the freedom I feel now

❤️ I’ve met like-minded beautiful souls, attended sexuality courses that have expanded my knowledge and mind like never before and given me the confidence to express my beautiful authentic self

❤️ Had the most lush holidays with the family exploring the county, Northumberland Coast, Cornwall, Bristol, festivals, Chessington, Lego Land, and made so many beautiful memories along the way

❤️ My biggest achievement though has been to deepen the connection and love for me, this has opened my heart for others to love me too and it just feels great

Bring on 2019 – so many fabulous things planned already, life really is for living and I’m certainly going to do all I can to live it the fullest way I can

I have always struggled with Christmas

Mon, 24 Dec 2018 11:57:03 GMT

I’m sitting here on Christmas Eve and I have a similar feeling come over me, I feel a bit sad and I feel emotional and it’s something that I feel every year. Don’t get me wrong, I have thrown myself into Christmas parties and preparation with the kids but underneath all that, I still feel like this. I have the tools to work on it but for today, I am going to just be. I will do the work and to be honest, just writing this blog is really helping me understand why I feel like this.

When I was growing up, Christmas was a mixture to be honest. My mum worked so hard so we had presents to open, I know she used to scout the charity shops to give us what she could afford and we really felt lucky, we had so much, it may not have been the designer coats that everyone else had or the latest games but we were so loved and we had so much to be thankful for. I still remember my mums face at Christmas and seeing the relief on her face when she saw the delight in our faces. In our bubble, I felt so thankful but I always remember feeling sad when we met up with our friends and saw what they had and I just wished that one day I could show off my stuff with pride to everyone. Little did I know then, how lucky I was to have anything.

For the last 10 years, I have helped the homeless at Christmas, for me it has always been a part of me, I always love to give back but to work with the homeless, holds a special place in my heart. The people I have met over the years are homeless because of a variety of reasons and they all have emotional stories to tell and they are just people like you and me, they may have lost their job, had a marriage break down, so many reasons and it could happen to any of us. There are people out there every day and not just at Christmas that only have the clothes they wear and a few belongings.

Working with the homeless especially at the time of the year where there is so much excess, really makes me realise how lucky I am. Maybe there is some guilt somewhere that I once felt jealous of my friends when my mum had worked so hard, who knows I just know at this time of year, I feel like I need to balance the excess with giving back.

This year, I decided that I wouldn’t do Crisis at Christmas and it was mainly due to all the red tape there is now, I volunteer for a day and sometimes I may only get to give treatments for 4 hours after all the travelling and briefings etc and thought I would find somewhere locally instead so I give more of my time to make a difference.

I have contacted three charities over the last month, two homeless charities in Maidstone and a refuge in Medway and at the moment, nothing has materialised so I’ll probably go to the dementia home for now until I hear as I love the difference I make there. I can’t not give back at Christmas, but why is that?

I have done so much work around receiving love and I am getting so good at it but I think it’s just the amount of gifts you get and all the food there is, excess everywhere and people are panicking they may run out of food because the shops are closed for one day. I can’t help but think about all the people in the world that don’t have anything, those that are spending Christmas without their loved ones. Sometimes, I feel like I can really feel their pain and it takes my breath away.

I feel better for just expressing how I feel today and honouring it. I know next year, I am going to be part of something that will make a real difference at Christmas and this year, I will be open to what comes.

For me, Christmas is all about spreading love and joy and spending time with the people that matter in my life and I will remind myself how precious that is. After losing beautiful friends in my life, I really do feel blessed to be here and be healthy and I will surrender to that feeling.

Be blessed with all you have and all the people that surround you this Christmas but if you find it tough like I do, know that it’s ok too and acknowledge it as it feels so much better when you can just say how you feel.

Sending lots of love to you all. xx

Are you numb to Love?

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 00:00:00 GMT

What is love? It’s a question that would have a different answer for everyone and maybe something that we can sometimes not even define.

I always thought I loved myself and it was only when I stopped making myself busy and realised when I took all that busyness away that I never loved myself, not really, not deep down. I filled my days up doing so much for others, always keeping busy raising money for charities, giving back to others and literally sitting still thinking, who can I help next – anything that would detract from myself and getting to know me, the real me and the me that I was really running away from.

I had some real negative feelings about myself that I was actually quite shocked to realise, I felt disgusting, I felt fat & ugly and I felt unworthy of love.

My biggest breakthrough on my journey was when I realised that I didn’t love myself

I only realised this last year

Since then, I have really worked at knowing the reasons why and releasing this from my energy as little did I know that this was really holding me back in my life

Looking back, I remember never going for new jobs in my career because I just felt blessed with what I earned already and thought I had enough, I always wanted to step forward for every opportunity but sometimes the voices in my head sabotaged it, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t deserve it but the thing was, these voices were my norm, they were part of me, I didn’t know any different, I never knew these thoughts were not serving me

Receiving love was also a real struggle for me, whenever I received a compliment, I would never accept it and just chuck a compliment right back at someone, if anyone gave me a gift, I would be racked with guilt and almost immediately start thinking, I should give this to someone else, what can I buy them to say thank you…

I was unable to really receive love from someone because I didn’t feel worthy of that love, I was protecting myself, I was blocked and I was numbing myself from really feeling anything that may hurt me

I know the reasons why, it is all to do with my past experiences and although my new awakened state can be challenging at times as I feel everything, I would take this every day over the numbness that I felt before and I know now that I have a new found love for myself, I don’t put myself down, I look after me because I know how precious my life is and I want to feel great all the time and if I don’t I find out why and release it

Does this resonate with anyone? Are you able to receive love, not just from others but from yourself as well? Do you let yourself feel love but I mean really feel it? So when someone hugs you, do you let yourself feel their arms around you and feel the warmth of the love they are giving you?

Take time today to really understand how you feel about love and is it something you find easy or hard to receive?

Learning to love yourself and to receive love is a practice and it is something that I work on daily and once you start it, it becomes your life, I now open my arms and my heart fully to receive. Love is one of the things that lights me up and I give myself permission every day to be more present with life and to feel all the love that comes my way.

It always starts with us first though, are you loving yourself unconditionally and if not, why? How can you receive love from anyone else, if you don't love who you are.

Let’s start loving ourselves more today, acknowledge how you are feeling? Write down everything that comes up for you when you think about love, what do you need that will make you feel better? Could be a nice bath, having an afternoon nap, eating something yummy that you’ve fancied for ages, whatever that looks like for you, Let’s stop, listen, accept all that we are and give ourselves some love today because we really are worthy of it.

When someone hugs you, take a breath and really feel them hold you and accept that love with love, if someone gives you a complement, simply say thank you and let it land in you and notice how different it feels just to accept it.

The more you practice, the more it will become a way of life giving you a stronger sense of connection with yourself and all the beautiful people around you.

Want to learn how to love yourself more? Come and join my Facebook community where I share the ways I have practiced this and so much more

Facebook Page: Facebook.com/holistickerry

Awaken the real you group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/290544734897403/

Lets Celebrate the men in our lives

Mon, 26 Nov 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Another powerful weekend celebrating and honouring masculine energy ....this time I was lucky enough to part of the team which was great and I loved being of service to the beautiful beings in the room.

For me, Men have always been powerful, always been in charge and I've always yearned for them to love and look after me. I suppose it links with me always wanting to feel safe and protected and growing up mainly with my mum, I think I missed the presence of a man daily in my life.

This weekend, I got to work with some beautiful men and I was so touched by the response I received. It was a real privilege and honour just to be with them and be completely present, to really listen, meet their needs, to see them expand and surrender to receiving touch.

When this type of tantric touch is received, it can be pure pleasure but can sometimes be a release of suppressed emotions as this beautiful sensual touch can take them to a place, they may never have experienced in their lives. To just be held, to be acknowledged, listened to and to be touched without an agenda or end goal. An opportunity to just be themselves, whatever that may be. I was genuinely touched seeing these beautiful men, embrace their vulnerability. Men can have so much pressure in our society that being strong means they don't have emotions or they need to be a man about things...seriously want does this actually mean.

We are all beings whether we identify as a man or a woman, we are all powerful whether that be in divine happiness and jumping for joy or we are crying and struggling with something in life, for me, all is welcomed and its about just being authentic, being whoever you are and not hiding that from anyone. It's so important for all of us to be open and honest and let others know when you need support, how can they help us otherwise.

Since I have lived my life being more beautifully authentic, I have got to know my real self, I know what I need in any given moment and I an able to communicate that. This new way of life has had a huge impact on all my relationships too and the people around me are empowered to be themselves.

Imagine if we lived in a world where everyone was true to themselves, they didn't do what they thought they should or what someone else told them to do, they got to know themselves and embrace all of who they are. Space was given for men to really relax and to remove the armour that they or others have placed on themselves and just to be free. Receiving love can be harder for some then we actually recognise especially if its not something we are used too. To see the men soften to receive beautiful deep love from others was so powerful, it really touched my heart.

This weekend has taught me so much and I had a huge moment at the course when I realised how far I have come on this energy journey with my EAM and Tantra work. I have never felt so awake and so aware of what I am feeling at any moment and I feel so excited that I am now sharing all this with the world and empowering others to awaken themselves from within. I have so much growth to explore in this area especially around my own sexuality, I have learnt so much already but this field is huge and I'm only on the tip of the iceberg.

My biggest lesson though was reminding me to take more notice and appreciate all the men in my life as they really are a blessing. Think about all the men in your life today and celebrate all that they are...

One step closer to complete freedom

Wed, 14 Nov 2018 00:00:00 GMT

This week, I have been processing a lot of past trauma which was triggered by the training I did last weekend. We learnt a lot about what trauma actually is, how to set clear boundaries and how to say no to something you are not happy with. It made me realise how many times in my life even recently where I have overstepped my own personal boundaries and it left me riddled with shame. It also reminded me of times in my life when I wasn’t heard and things happened to me because I was scared, or I was trying to please someone else.

So this weekend I was offering my body for the practice so others could learn Tantric massage. This is the second time I have done this weekend and each time, I am blown away by the power of it. When I arrived in Bristol on Friday, I could feel all these emotions start to rise to the surface and I wrote out what I was feeling and even I was shocked when I put it into words

I feel like I don't want anyone to touch me

I'm feeling unsafe

I feel like I'm unable to hold any boundaries and that I can be over powered easily by others

I feel vulnerable

I don't feel in my power

I feel like I've slipped into my younger self and don't want to put myself in any bad situations

But there is part of me too that wants it too

I want to be made to feel used

That's a feeling that I was always used too

I recognise that pain

But deep down it scares me

I don't like being in this place, I want my power back again.

This was me in my complete raw state, I wasn’t in my 39 year old body, I was 17 again.

When I was out running on Saturday, I couldn’t stop crying, I spoke with a couple of friends, I just wanted to be heard and explain how I was feeling and that alone was so comforting. I knew I had the tools to work on this but wanted someone to hold my hand.

I worked with one of my amazing EAM mentors and in no time at all, we cleared an imprint on my energy from when I was raped and although I had worked on this before, this was different. I had a connection with the person that did it and I needed to set him free. I have never really spoken about him and how I felt. The truth is, he was someone I admired and looked up too and I think that’s why I never told anyone too because I was so shocked that he actually did it. I know I said no and my no wasn’t heard. I have never felt anger towards him, I just so sad that he had done this to me. I remember looking at him afterwards and he couldn’t even look at me, I felt disgusting, I felt ashamed and I felt used.

As I went into the course yesterday, I felt back in my power again but I felt so nervous and was fearful of the afternoon yoni massage practice and who I was going to work with. As this was a part of a teaching piece, I stayed really connected with the person I was working with giving feedback and then when it became painful, I asked for the treatment to stop and asked to be wrapped in a blanket and I just need to lay there and just be for a moment.

I then felt a rush of panic come over me, I couldn’t breathe and I felt suffocated. I went to leave the room I wanted to escape and run away. I lay on the floor and cried, I couldn’t stop crying and all I kept thinking was about that night, I didn’t ask for any of this, I said no and he never stopped. All the emotions of the things I was feeling then were coming out, I needed to be told I was safe and wanted someone to hold my hand whilst this released from me. I covered myself in a blanket as I felt so ashamed of myself and didn’t want anyone to see me. How could I have kept this inside me for so long, how can I still have so much trauma left inside my body, I was back to that place and I was experiencing all the emotions that I felt then but never expressed.

Afterwards, I went still and came back to the room. I felt so embarrassed and I was in so much shock because I went from feeling ‘ok’ to having this out of body experience.

I have spent lots of time this week going over it all in my mind and processing what had happened. I feel calmer now and I have done lots of EAM work to clear any feelings of embarrassment and shame and aligned to trusting that this is all part of my journey to complete freedom from my past.

I also now realise that my journey continues and there is no such thing as being fixed…each time I have these releases it’s always something different, a different angle or perspective that leaves my body. This is a practice and each time I clear something, I will deepen the connection to myself.

I also know that by me sharing my journey, I will empower someone else to know they can speak up, they do have a voice and have the right to say no to something that they are not happy with.

My First Trip to Osho Leela

Tue, 14 Aug 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Last week, I spent the week at the amazing Osho Leela Sexuality Gathering and I have to say. I was quite worried that it may be a step too far for me and many people had given me advice on ensuring I had firm boundaries, I didn’t really know what that meant although I had some interesting conversations with my other half before I went about what I wasn’t allowed to do. That brought up some stuff for me, as my whole outlook now is to be free in everything I do but what does that mean? I also know that I am in a loving relationship and need to be respectful of that too. Sometimes on this journey, I have lost my way a bit, mainly in my head and having my beautiful man stand by me in all the craziness has meant so much and I know we have something truly special.

When I arrived at the festival, my first challenge was to put up my tent up, I have never camped alone, but I was super excited as I love being in nature and having my little haven of tranquility felt brilliant. I walked around the whole site and found the perfect spot amongst the trees which would be my home for the next 6 days. I spoke to a few people and then the nerves started to set in, OMG, I was at a sexuality gathering, what actually happens here? There were people putting their tents up naked and I almost felt at home and thought one day that would be me but maybe not this year!

Over the week, I learnt so much about myself, met amazing beings, had beautiful connections and spent a lot of time in silence. The biggest eye opener was learning all about the world of kink and actually found that I quite enjoyed whipping someone and receiving it too. It was so much fun and it’s not something I have ever experimented with especially with someone I didn’t know. I felt powerful, I felt beautiful and in complete devotion of the person I was serving.

Little did I know that this workshop would trigger me like never before and the laughter and fun from the workshop quickly faded when I headed for lunch and I just felt like I wanted to cry and didn’t know why? Over the course of the day, things started to become clear and it took me back to when I was 17 when I was raped. I have worked on this loads already but never on the physical pain of what I experienced back then. Here I was, enjoying pleasure through pain and it didn’t feel right, that wasn’t pain, not like I experienced then. Later that day, I attended the most profound workshop with an amazing teacher Elaine Young where we worked with a partner and looked at each other’s Yonis. It sounds crazy but my goodness it was so powerful. Your Yoni is part of a huge energy centre that communicates to you and also likes to be communicated with. We tapped into this energy and thought of what we would like to say, I just wanted to say Sorry for never really connecting to that part of my body and for not honouring myself enough all those years ago to acknowledge what had happened and to never tell a soul. I cried, I screamed and released the trauma from my body and released all the pain that I kept in for the last 21 years. In that moment, I felt like I was in a trance, the trauma release shaking has happened to me a lot over the last year, but I wasn’t resisting it anymore and instead I was picturing my freedom, me as the beautiful butterfly as this all left my body. The space was beautifully held for me, my face was held, I was told I was safe, I was loved and I was going to be free. Wow, what an experience and was another reminder of why I am doing the work I do now, I want everyone to be free of past trauma because when you release it, that feeling of freedom is phenomenal.

When I got up on the stage on my last night and sang I believe I can fly, that really did mean the world to me, what an unexpected journey I had been on in 5 days in this perfect location in the Dorset countryside, I never knew that I could feel freer then I did already and I left just feeling so blessed that I was here, that I had met such amazing people and knew that this place would always hold a special place in my heart and I would be coming back.

Can I Feel Love Like this Every Day?

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:00:00 GMT

I sit here this morning filled with so much love, just back from my Tantra weekend and although my heart feels warm, I am sitting here pondering, feeling a little bit lost and already missing all the connections I made at the weekend. How can I incorporate this into my every day? Maybe it’s just about taking time each day to really feel love, receive love and have gratitude for all the special people you have in your life. I do that anyway to be honest but maybe it’s about feeling it even more then I do already.
This weekend was all about rituals and ceremonies, it was less about learning how to massage but how to connect in a more subtle but sensual way and wow it didn’t disappoint.
We explored, played, teased and awakened the five senses, I felt so alive, who would have thought that someone whispering beautiful words in your ears would be so erotic, it made my whole body tingle with excitement.
I have found during this whole exploration of myself that it’s the really subtle acts of love that have had the most profound effect on me. I think it’s about the slowness and the complete devotion you feel for the person that you are working with and is really magical whether you are giving or receiving. Afterwards the bond you have is so powerful and when you hold them, you feel their heart beating and you become one, it just takes my breath away when I think about it.
I don’t think I have ever been so self-aware and loved myself as much as I do now, especially my body, all I have ever wanted was to look and feel different. Something beautiful happened this weekend though and I really turned a corner in being able to truly connect to myself. Working on my own, barely touching and using the breath, sound and movement, I felt pleasure like never before. It was intense and when it stopped, the tears flowed, releasing all the fear and blockages I had around pleasuring myself. After the tears left me, I couldn’t stop smiling and pictured myself as a butterfly, flying high in the sky and into the sunshine, the wind and the warmth of the sun on my face, I could feel my wings expanding and I felt that freedom through every part of my body.
So Can I feel love like this every day? Absolutely and every day I will honour myself and give myself time to feel this love through everything I do and through every person I communicate with. I feel so blessed to teach others how to feel love, first for themselves and then with everything and everyone that touches their lives – a world full of love is a happy one, would you like to join me?

The Divine Masculine

Tue, 22 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Mind blowing, that’s my initial thoughts on my last Tantra weekend, such a powerful deep weekend and I honestly think it was the most profound by far and totally unsurprisingly too as I had no idea the impact it would have on me.
When I arrived on the Saturday morning, straight away, I could feel the shift in energy from the previous weekends. The energy actually felt quite suffocating for me, like someone had their hand over my throat and I retreated back outside in the beautiful courtyard nearby until it started.
I have never really acknowledged masculine energy or understood it and I suppose at various stages of my life, it met me with negativity but all I have ever wanted was to be noticed by men and for them to see me, really see me without any expectation from me at all. I think this is why this weekend was so fundamental for me, the roles were reversed and I was there to celebrate and honour their vulnerability, their power and just as they were, in all their beauty.
One of the first exercises we did was to unleash the power in the body, sometimes in all beings, we have so much pent up energy and sometimes we just need to peel that back to really see what’s underneath. We worked in pairs and the energy in the room was electric as we unleashed the animal side of us, it was a lot of fun too.
Next came the honouring of the Shiva and wow, this almost knocked me off my feet. I worked with a beautiful beautiful soul and every touch and word I spoke, I felt it too and seeing it land, really touched my heart. When do we ever stand and take in every part of someone’s being, it is so powerful because it’s just not something that we experience every day.
Over the weekend, I learnt how to massage the intimate parts of a man and I have to say I have never touched a man in this way before, allowing their body to awaken and heal at the same time. It is so different to working with someone on a romantic level when there tends to be an exchange and the energy is so different.
I feel freer than ever this week and although I was primarily the devotee, I received so much healing leaving unwanted layers of myself behind and releasing deep emotion that I have carried throughout my life.
I have come to realize after a long time searching that all you really need is Love, Love for you first, it starts here and once you have this, you have everything.
The connections I have made on this journey is like nothing I have ever experienced, you feel so close and you feel it so deep into your soul that it literally takes your breath away. I can't wait for my next weekend....

I Am Beautiful

Thu, 17 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT

I have never really felt beautiful, not deep down inside like I do now. I still have lumps and bumps but the beauty I feel is so much deeper than my body, it’s deep into my heart and soul and it’s like I have a calmness and stillness around myself that I have never experienced.

My journey into experiencing true self love really only started two years ago because before then, I never consciously gave myself time to do that. I have never been so self-aware both of how I am feeling and what my mind and body needs to nurture it to its full potential. I still have days when things crop up but I have my wonderful EAM that clears it and raises my vibration back into alignment, from this place, I am free and so powerful and here is when the magic happens.

This weekend, I was in my role as Shakti bunny so the receiver of so much love and sensual touch. I was surprised how powerful actually receiving was for me. The first exercise had the most profound effect. I worked with a beautiful Shiva, who surrounded my body with the energy of love, caressed my skin and bowed to my feet and honoured every part of my being. I stood there and I cried my eyes out, I have never been touched with such love, tender and care and with no intention but just to honour every part of me in that moment. It was so beautiful and I felt it deep into my heart. For me, this was about feeling loved, accepting love and feeling safe. My reaction totally surprised me, this was such a simple exercise really but had such a powerful effect on me and makes me goose bump all over as I type, I will never forget that moment and the bond I shared.

I received a breast massage and yoni massage over the weekend and it was great to experience this again for myself and wow, they really are beautiful esquisite treatments that awakening your entire body and not something you have every day, I wish I could though.

The entire weekend was just so special, a group of people that have never met more than a couple of times, if at all were able to look at each other and share the beauty and love that we saw in each person, it was so amazing to share such heart felt words, to see them land within them and to then receive love back too. If only everyone could do this in our world, it truly would be a peaceful planet.

I felt radiant, I was submerged deep into my feminine energy and It felt so wonderful and I aim to embrace this every day. If you feel beautiful deep inside, you radiate love and everyone around you feels it too. I am beautiful.

Life is so Precious - what will be in your video?

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Today I am feeling emotional, I’ve just watched the most amazing video to celebrate the 35th Birthday of one of my friend’s brothers that tragically lost his life 5 years ago and it makes me ask the question, am I really living my life to the full, are you? We really don’t know what life has in store for us and what is around the corner. it’s also reminding me of all the people in my life that have gone just far too soon, beautiful souls taken when they were just really starting their life and the one thing they all have in common is the way they lived their life, they had a zest for life and creating amazing memories for the people they have left behind. I am not religious but I do believe there must be something else and I tell myself that they have gone onto a different life, to spread their joy and happiness and make a difference to someone else.

Today was at the hospital to discuss removal of the pre-cancerous cells they have found in my womb. A straightforward procedure in that it happens to a lot of women but it’s left me feeling scared. I haven’t got cancer but it’s made me fear it more than ever and I feel so thankful that I chose to have my smear test as otherwise I would never have known and the news would have not been as positive. Your life could change in an instant and that is what drives me to live the life I do. That’s the reason I left my media job nearly two years ago, not because I didn’t like it but because I knew I was destined to do more in my life and I wanted the time to explore that. Are you making the most of your precious life? Is there anything that you could change that would make that difference to you? What have you always wanted to do? If someone was compiling a video to highlight the best bits of your life, what would be in it? This is your life now, do all the things that you’ve dreamed of, wear your best clothes, tell those that are close how much you love them, don’t save it for another time, embrace it now and feel the excitement and love in your heart knowing you are living life the way that you truly want too.

Proud to Be Me

Sun, 08 Apr 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Feel really proud of myself today, I have that warm feeling inside knowing that I am really stepping into my power of my authentic self and I feel so good about it

Last night, I went to a party with people I have known since I was young and hadn’t seen for a long time. I almost forgot that I had started sharing my blog on my personal profile page which meant of course that everyone was potentially reading it, I wasn’t in hiding anymore.

I had lots of people come up to me last night and ask what’s this I hear about this blog and this Sex thing you are doing? What’s this I hear about you doing naked massages? About this sexual cult you have joined? Some were saying it in jest and some were genuinely intrigued. It felt good to communicate my message and my journey of how I have got to this place and setting the rumours straight! I found it quite funny what they all thought and I think it’s good to know and will help inform how I market my business going forward.

It made me realise too that some people need to understand my journey and what has led me to Tantra in order for them to really understand my Why. That’s where the powerful message is.

Sexual trauma, abuse, being naked, sexual energy and just sex in general is not something that we speak openly about. I never told a soul about the things that I went through at the time because I was so low in self-worth, I didn’t think I deserved a voice and that’s part of my mission to give people a safe place to say the things they never have and work with their mind and bodies to set them free from their past. I think some people were a bit shocked at first especially after a few drinks but my passion to make a difference shone through and it felt great being able to share that with the people that have known me for so long. One of my good friends said that I had always been different, always did my own thing growing up regardless of what anyone thought and it’s true. The big thing for me is I have always just wanted to be accepted and loved and the fact I never really fit in, troubled me for most of my life. I now love me and that has had a profound impact on my life for both my own contentment and happiness but also with the relationships to those around me. I have always protected myself from love, my arms are now open wide to receive all the love that comes my way.

Honouring the Female body

Thu, 22 Mar 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Just back from my second weekend of my Tantra training and I have to say if I thought my mind was blown before, it certainly is now. I am so so excited that I have found this beautiful community, it has left me with such a warm fuzzy feeling inside which I never want to go away.

Women have such beautiful bodies and this weekend we honoured it all and in such a sensual and beautiful way that I not only fell In love with the people I worked with but also with myself on a deeper level then I have ever experienced.

Over the weekend, we took part in tantric rituals to deepen the connection to each other. We explored so many elements of touch that awakened the senses in a way that some had never felt, we loved and loved some more and cherished every being in the room, it was such a wonderful feeling to have so much unity and love in one place.

For this weekend, I was in the role of the giver so was there to be of service to the beautiful Shakti’s that were receiving the massages.

I learnt how to massage the breasts in such a sacred and sensual way, I then supported the Shakti as they experienced pleasure and released pain and tension in their body whilst I held the space for them to feel loved, cherished and most importantly they felt safe. I felt so blessed to be a part of this journey with them, it made my heart warm and it felt so special to be there.

As you know from my journey, my Yoni is still quite an unexplored area for me so I was slightly nervous of the Yoni massage. I worked with a beautiful soul on this exercise and we had such a deep connection after the rituals and I have to say it was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever been a part of. As my role of the giver, I was in dialogue with the Shakti the entire time ensuring their needs are met, they may want a firmer or lighter massage or just to be held and caressed in some way. Women have been on such a journey with their Yoni and it it’s not necessarily trauma that is released but any tension they have experience in their life, can be held here. This truly beautiful healing treatment is so pleasurable for the Shakti and it’s normal to experience multiple orgasms whilst the tension is set free, I have wonderful memories of mine last year and can’t wait until my next one. The entire course was phenomenal and I learnt so much, this is just the start of my tantra journey but that excites me.

I now know that I have found my thing, I want to set women free from themselves and anything that is holding them back in their life. I think every woman should have Yoni massages but I think society is a long way from that but I aim to make it accessible, educate and give beings the opportunity to share their experiences on an area that we don’t always speak openly about. I dream of working with couples to enhance their connection, teach them how to touch and caress each other in a sensual way…makes me alive with goose bumps as I type – this is going to be huge, I can feel it in my heart and deep in my soul, this is the reason I am here.

Tantra – is this the missing part of the puzzle

Sun, 18 Feb 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Last weekend, I started my Tantra Training, this is a major step in me learning how to tap into my sexual energy so I can continue to set myself free and learn how I can in turn help others do the same. The entire weekend was completely out of my comfort zone but it was also truly mind blowing and I knew by the first day that this was possibly the missing part of the puzzle for me to deepen my connection to myself.

The entire weekend was just so magical and the connection we made with people that we had never met was just so beautifully spiritual. The course was clothing optional and that alone made me feel a bit uneasy but by the end of the weekend, I felt liberated and had no problem being naked around others. We are all so different and so unique and if you feel beautiful inside then you radiate that beauty and everyone around you feels it too. I think we should all spend more time naked and really fall in love with ourselves, how can we expect others to love us if we hide from ourselves.

One of the first exercises was a shaking meditation, I felt a bit embarrassed at first, you keep your feet on the ground and you close your eyes and just shake your whole body, I joined in but it definitely took a while to get into it, lots of people were making noise and I didn't feel the need too but then when I found out we were only half way I thought I may as well give it a go, you could literally feel all the tension from your body shaking away. It was so different from anything I had ever done before but I liked it. We then stopped, my goodness, the rush of electricity that took over my body was so intense that it moved me back and forth in a rocking motion. We were then asked to connect to our body, to touch ourselves somewhere. I connected one hand to my heart and then to just below my stomach, my safe place and a place of such warmth, I moved it further down towards my sex, it felt cold there. I started to cry, I knew I still had more to work do and the beautiful energy I was feeling stopped at my tummy. I feel more connected than ever in some ways but the one part that I am still not truly connected to is my Yoni.

Over the weekend, I was massaged in places that I have never really been touched and on Sunday, my body went into a type of shock, full body shaking, another piece of the trauma being released through my body, it was scary at the time but it was also an amazing experience to be so beautifully supported. I have felt so free this week, like a weight has been lifted, I think there is more to come but I am not scared anymore. It’s the second time it has happened to me but now I really surrender to it and know its just part of my journey and it will allow me to fly higher then I have ever flown before.

Breast Therapy - Wasn't sure what I would think but I loved it

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 00:00:00 GMT

So i've just had the most amazing treatment, Breast Therapy with the lovely Haya and wow, it was fantastic. I've been doing a lot of work around sexuality, desire and connecting with myself and I thought this would provide another insight into my new world and it didn't disappoint.

I never quite knew what to expect but with an open mind, I was really looking forward to trying something new on an area that I have loved all my life but had only really been touched sexually or for providing food for my baby.

The session started with some energy balancing and straight away, I could feel the intense heat from Haya's hands on my stomach and within a couple of minutes, I was truly relaxed. I had my eyes closed and was seeing beautiful indigo and green colours swirling around.

The treatment included massage of the stomach, breasts, shoulders, arms, hands, face and head. I've only ever had my breasts massaged once before and I remember at the time freezing to the spot and thinking blimey never had a massage like this before. This time though, I was expecting it and was able to relax and enjoy a normally untouched area, it was so sensual and so calming and I could just feel any tension or resistance in that area melting away. It was a truly wonderful experience and I would say to any woman that loves or has fallen out of love with their breasts to give it a try. I Feel wonderful, l feel calm, balanced and totally connected to my inner self and that's a real gift in my eyes and I feel very blessed as always to have experienced it.

2017, a year of endless possibilities

Thu, 26 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It's been a few months since I wrote a post and its been a crazy few months with so many changes. First and foremost, I am so blessed. I feel so lucky to just be alive and healthy every day I am so thankful for that.

So what have I been up too, I am still doing two days consultancy a week which is keeping me busy and pays the bills. Now along side that is where the magic is happening. I have now qualified in my Reiki 2 and also completed a facial reflexology course and I'm absolutely loving my new skills and they have given me a new confidence with my therapies, I'm really making a difference to people and I know now after months of searching that this is my calling. I am also hoping to start a reflexology programme in a special needs school in the next couple of months. I am super excited about this because I knew I couldn't be a therapist full time because I was finding the 'quiet' time in my treatments tough, treating children will mean that I will be doing what I love but will also be a challenge and unlikely to be quiet and most importantly I will really make a difference here and that excites me. A win win in my eyes.

We have moved to a lovely area too, I know we are going to be so happy here. Think the transition will take some time but I just keep walking round the house smiling and saying 'yes, we did it!'. I know its right and can't wait to make amazing memories here.

I have big dreams, I'm still trying to work out what my overall vision is but I know that I want to inspire and I want to make a difference to as many people as I can. They joked at my leaving speach that I would be hiring out the 02 one day and healing people, but this is my dream.... I will do a ted talk one day and one day I will stand in front of hundreds and maybe even thousands of people and inspire them. You have to aim high in life and you will get there, I am certain of that.

Have a wonderful day guys and dream big xx

Never too old to join a Choir...

Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

wow wow wow, what an amazing night! I feel on top of the world after singing my heart out for two hours. When I turned up, I was asked whether I was a tenor, Alto, soprano, I said I had no idea what they were, let alone where I should be...they placed me in the sopranos!

They sang really high and I definitely felt like I was pushing my voice and wasn't really sure whether I was outside of my comfort zone. One guy Mike King led the 120 people choir and he was a true inspiration. It ran so smoothly and he arranged everyone so perfectly.

Tonight we did Fix You by Cold Play and New York State of Mind by Billy Joel and it was magical hearing everyone together, I especially loved the bass, loved those deep voices. I found myself being distracted mid way though because I just didn't know where I belonged. Was I a soprano or an alto. The altos parts seemed easier at times but I was glad I had the soprano too in other places. At the end of the session, I thought I don't want to keep thinking am I on the right place so I went to speak to Mike. He suggested that we wait for the room to clear and I had a quick session with himself and his wife Carol and we sang a verse from fix you as well as some eeeeee and he said I had a a beautiful soprano voice and had quite a big range too! I now know where I belong and can't wait for next week! Absolutely loved it and so proud of myself for making myself known... hee hee - why did I wait until age 37 to join a choir?! - all those wasted years I listened to to Gospel Choirs in Peckham, desperate to pop in and join in, I could have been singing! Still you are never too old to do the things you have dreamed of and my Choir journey started today.......whoop whoop!!

Duvet Day

Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Really not feeling myself, I just want to run away today and hide until a duvet because I really don’t like what I am feeling. Met with some therapists today and one of them was talking about becoming a therapist and said ….if you are not prepared to go to the dark place yourself, you can’t expect to help others. I know this is so true and I am definitely in a darker place now and just wish I knew how long it was going to last and also what would be the end result – it’s all the unknown that is literally driving me insane! I know that all the reiki I have been doing alongside the meditation and lots of thinking time has meant that a lot of thoughts and deep rooted emotions have been brought to the service but I think it is all part of my journey so I just need to ride the storm and know that I will come out the other side - I will keep you dated!

Start of another new chapter

Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

So after three months in the slow lane, today was my first day at DigitalAgenda and wow, amazing what a difference it makes to be back out into the world of work and I really enjoyed connecting with people again, I love to talk (and sing!) so I’m excited to be doing more of this. Today, I officially launched my consultancy arm and I feel very excited as now I have made another big step to achieving all I want in my future. I am now working two days in the fast lane which I think will ensure that I truly appreciate the holistic days I have in the slow lane even more – well that’s the plan. I am doing a month’s trial here so let’s just see how it goes but I have a good feeling about this – I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now, I’m a very lucky human being!

Sometimes you just need to give in

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

1st November – 09:41am

Today I am feeling more like myself – yesterday was a tough day but I think it didn’t help that I was tired and Emily woke me at 4:40am!

I now have a busy week ahead too, I had a new client last night and she has re booked for next month which is great. I have booked on another course but this time it Its all about my business and how I am going to grow this side of things… if it wasn’t for the pressure of earning money every month, I think I would be ok. I have so much that I want to learn and could just spend my days learning new things. Yesterday I had loads to do but knew I had to sleep so had an hour and although I felt awful afterwards as I could have done with more, I really needed it. I listened to my body, something I am doing more and more at the moment.

Feeling Vunerable

Sun, 23 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

For the first time in a long time, I am feeling quite vulnerable. It's hard for me to admit it but I need to recognise it and try and do my best to be my old self again. This week it feels like all my emotions have come to a head, well I know they have as I spent a lot of this weekend feeling upset. It's been two months since I left my job, a job I loved but for many reasons I knew it was time for something new. I craved time to think and breathe and after two months of breathing space, I know now that I need to be busy again.

I thrive on life, I thrive on being busy and living life to the full and although I have definitely been doing more for myself and my family then I ever have, I'm not really feeling myself this week. I feel wasted and know I have more to offer and I need to get myself back into the world of business - only part time as I love my holistic side but for me to fully appreciate It, I need more so I need to concentrate on making that more happen.

Having all this thinking time has left me over analysing what I have and thinking it's just not enough. I need to put time into the things that really matter and as tough as this realisation has been this weekend, I think it's All part of my journey of self discovery. I'm scared of making silly decisions because of this but I know deep down in my heart what I need to do and I know that I will be ok. I'm going to book in some sessions with my life coach and spent this week with like minded people and those that make me smile and I'll keep reminding myself of that amazing sunrise that I saw this morning and the amazing ocean that often reminds me of myself. I have so much to give and so much opportunity sometimes things can feel choppy and wild but there will be calmness again and I need to focus towards that.

It's fine to feel vulnerable, you just need to recognise it and know that everything will be ok xx

I miss people ....funny thing to say but it's true

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Had a funny week or so and haven't wrote a blog in about 10 days. I am now 6 weeks into my new venture and I now have some new clients and have made loads of contacts but something is missing....

The last few days, I have been feeling quite lonely. Although I am seeing clients most days, the nature of what I do means they are asleep within 10 minutes (which I love) but it does mean that I am not actually spending time with people.

I have left a job where I was always on, in such demand and there was always a hundred million things to do and now I suppose this new slower pace has also meant less people and less demand and I miss it. People said I would but all I wanted was some breathing space and head space to do all the things that I dreamed of and I am starting to do that now but I do actually miss the constant communication with others and the fast paceness of life.

I don't want to go back to the craziness completely but I think I may need a bit of it in my life and now need to figure out what that looks like - I think it's working a couple of days a week in a agency or doing something different, It's only been 6 weeks, I know I have to give myself a break and just roll with it for now. I am doing what I love and that is helping others and making a difference everyday, I just need to add a bit of craziness to it and I think that will suit me.

Next week, I am going to be doing a presentation to two groups of mums about the benefits of reflexology for infertility, throughout pregnancy and also for babies and beyond... i'm looking forward to that and although nervous as you always are with these things, I need to feel that thrill and excitement again and I'm craving it I suppose.

People keep telling me I look great, my eyes are bluer, my skin looks better so I know this is all doing me some good, I just think I need even more time to adjust and find my way.... i need to give it at least a year I think until I know if it's right. It's what I have always wanted so I need to remember that and keep evolving and doing new things and I am sure it will all sort it self out.

This weekend I am going to try and be socialable! I may even pop out for a few glasses of wine so if you see me, come and talk to me and let me chat your head off!

October - I wonder what wonderful things it will bring.....

Tue, 04 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

So it's now October - I can't believe that I've now been off work for a over a month and wow what a month September has been and looking back, I can't believe how much I have done. It's been a whirlwind but I have met so many wonderful people and have learnt so much. I really feel like my life has changed direction an although I most definitely haven't figured it all out yet, it's heading in the right direction and that I am very pleased about.

Over the weekend, I was feeling quite down. I had some great family and friend time celebrating Emily's 2nd birthday but I was feeling quite low thinking about my direction. I'd already said to myself that September was my month to enjoy life and have some time off and figure it all out and well, I haven't. I've loved September but think I want to do all again in October - for me life is like a sponge and I just want to keep soaking it all up and I just want I learn!

I have so many events coming up, to meet people, gain new clients and learn some more amazing skills for both myself and others. I'm excited and I need to remember that when I have down days - money really isn't everything and I've bought myself some time so I need to stop putting myself under pressure as I know it will come good and in the meantime I just need to keep going with the flow and see what comes my way....

Don't save things for best

Mon, 26 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

I’m not sure about you but I have always been one of those people that saves things for best. I am talking everything -I'm not just talking dresses that I may buy for a special occasion but everything. Alongside my mind, I’m starting to cleanse my surroundings and I realize that I have so much stuff that I have never used/ wore because I was saving them for a special time.

I have drawers full of lotions and potions that I have either bought or been giving for free, the drawer of dreams they call this. All those skincare regimes you hoped you would adopt when you bought the most expensive cleansers and moisturizers and now they just sit in a drawer collecting dust. I also have so many clothes that I have never wore, I remember getting them out of the wardrobe to wear and thinking I don't think this is the best occasion for me to wear this new item, I’ll save it for a better one, Why?!! I should wear them for both, I should wear it a hundred times if I feel like it. What has happened now is I have a wardrobe full of clothes that are not only too big for me but I don't even like them anymore, why didn't I enjoy them at the time... because I saved them for best, it's ridiculous really, what a waste!

It's the same with presents that I have been given. I am so worried that I will lose the lovely bracelet or that the beautiful Jo Malone candle will burn away too quickly that I haven't enjoyed them and now I have drawers full of beautiful unused things.

So this week, I am going to start discovering all the things that I have hidden away and start using them and make myself feel great and if I really don't think I will wear/use it, I am going to give them to someone else or to charity so someone else can enjoy them.

Please don't save things for best.... go on, have a look through the drawers and it will feel like Christmas all over again.....

A little inspiration goes a long way

Sun, 25 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Just spent 8 hours at camp expo and wow feeling totally inspired! Now I know why I am doing this, why I have taken this leap of faith. There is so much out there to learn, absorb and inspire, there really isn't any point in sitting still.

I have loved talking to like minded professionals and seeing all the available opportunities that I have ahead of me. It's just so exciting. So many courses I want to do that will add to my repertoire and give me the tools to help even more people - I could spend all my days learning but I think I need to start earning some money first - I'm spending a lot of money at the moment getting set up but I know eventually I'll get it back and not necessarily financially but emotionally too, knowing what an impact I am having on others and that means so much more to me too. Funny how your priorities change in life and mine really have. Super excited about my future - you really don't know what's next for you and how long you have on this earth and I'm so inspired to make the most of it.

I'm going to go home now, switch on mummy mode Until the kids are in bed and process all the Amazing things I have done today - might even treat mark to a new treatment technique I picked up today! Isn't he lucky! Xx

It really is good to talk

Wed, 21 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Well today has been an eventful morning and all I have done is literally spent the morning chatting away and for those that know me, will know that's a great morning.

Had a lovely chat with my mum first thing whilst doing a workout! I appreciated just hearing my mum's laugh and made me feel warm inside... it's the little things.

I then spoke to a lovely lady that is setting up a wellbeing event for mums after the school run and we had a really great chat and from a ten minute call, she said she thought I sounded great and she can already tell that I will be a success, so lovely to hear from someone that doesn't even know you and that alone was a good boost for the day.

I then picked up the phone and thought I would call and speak to the founder of baby reflex, Jenny Lee, why not! We had a lovely chat and although Jenny had retired, she said she would love for me to be more involved in baby reflex as she thought I was a breath of fresh air and would be great for them. I then had a call from her husband to carry on the conversation who said it was so lovely to talk to someone with some much passion for helping others and for baby reflex itself and he would love to chat further and is going to send me an email and put me in contact with some more people. Wow, I didn't expect that but was so lovely to speak to people that knew exactly what I was saying and that has the same passions as I did. I have a really great feeling about this.

Yesterday was another good day and I am now renting rooms and promoting the business in a foot clinic in Dartford and a wellness clinic in New Ash Green so making little baby steps which is great.

Off now for a facial, something I have wanted to do for ages so am treating myself and after a very productive morning, I am going to enjoy every minute of it

Meditation - my graduation

Sun, 18 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

So today was the last day of my course and I have to say I am really proud of myself, It's been quite a week, quite an emotional rollercoaster but I feel like I have learnt something that will enrich my life forever. I can't actually believe that I have managed to do twenty minutes of meditation twice a day for the last 6 days, not every meditation was a restful as the last, but I made that time for myself and it was time for my mind to rest and for me to acknowledge my thoughts and to give me some clarity for the day ahead or for a good night sleep. Yesterday I even managed to do it in the car with Emily chatting away and calling my name, by the end of the 20 minutes, I felt great and I even found that Emily was calmer and seemed to settle into the car journey, a win win in my eyes.

So today, after I finished my course, I joined a group meditation that takes place at the house each week and it was so lovely. Up until this week, I haven't really meditated alone, let alone meditate in a group of 7 people and it was so powerful. Men and Women who all individually had their own stories of what brought them here, all coming together for this amazing practice. Even with a few distractions, I managed a great meditation and I can't believe how much better I felt afterwards. I was feeling quite overwhelemed when I arrived and left feeling positive and upbeat.

Up until now, I have always been addicted to my workouts, ensuring that each day I make time to jump around and sweat out life's stress but I now have found something else to make time for, a time for me and my mind to mend and absorb and to take stock and that's worth more then anything for me now and I have seen just in four days what an impact it has had on my life. I have spent life running around and keeping as busy as I can but in this next chapter of life is the slow lane, I am going to make time to meditate every day and although I have felt really tired this week, slept more and deeper then I normally do, I have been emotional and had a lot going on in my mind, I think it's all part of the process and I am looking forward to where it takes me.

Meditation Day one

Wed, 14 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

Just finished the first day of my meditation course and wow I am feeling quite overwhelmed already but totally in a good way!

I found the course yesterday after having a very quick look through a local magazine that Someone showed me. I Took a picture of the advert but straight away I had a feeling that I had found what I was looking for. I've spent the last few weeks looking for somewhere that I could go to immerse myself into meditation but also somewhere inspirational and that was totally right for me and I can't believe it, I have found it. I even described a place like this to my friends, I really cant believe it. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason in life and I was meant to come here and learn this amazing practice and meet the lovely Camilla.

Meditation Day Two

Wed, 14 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Today has definitely been tougher then day one as I have a lot on my mind. I managed to have a 20 minute meditation last night but tried this morning and only managed 15 minutes. Got a lot going on in my head at the moment and my mind is struggling to settle down.

As soon as I got to the farm this morning, I felt better but felt quite anxious about doing some more meditation as my mind was feeling very busy. I told Camilla how I felt and we talked about all the crazy things going on in my world. It's important on days like this just to accept that life is sometimes crazy but I know that meditation is going to help break this down and give me an element of calm and that's exactly what it did.

I learnt a lot about meditation this morning and why we have mantras and also about what happens to the mind when we meditate which is absolutely fascinating. We finished the session with a short meditation and although my mind found it hard at first, it started to calm and I now feel a lot better and know I will be able to cope with the day ahead and what it throws at me.

Life is tough and so many things happen that you just don't have any answers or control over. Sometimes you just want to curl up in a ball and I think that's fine, you just need to acknowledge it and some days you want to conquer the world and you should embrace that too.

I am feeling calmer now but acknowledging that there is a lot going on around me that I can't change but I just need to be grateful what I do have and make the most of the day ahead.

For now, I am going to enjoy the peace of the countryside and have a swing through the trees and be thankful for the life I have, the air I breathe and all the wonderful things and people I have in my life.

Loving life today

Mon, 12 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

So week two of my new life and I have to say I am feeling fabulous. I just feel so lucky and grateful for my life and I am going to make the most of it.

I am already feeling different, I feel so calm, and I’m walking slower, talking slower and definitely more mindful of the world around me.

Today so far I have been in two café’s working and watching the world go by, I have always loved doing this but now better than ever because I realize how much I have been missing – there is so much of life to be lived and so many people to talk to, to learn from and this will all help me to thrive. I just can’t wait for the days to unfold now.

It’s really important for you to get outside of your comfort zone and do things that you are not used to doing and this could be as simple as walking a different way home one day, you will be amazed how much you notice, a really quirky building or a shop that has been there for years that you have never noticed. That’s why I am enjoying this so much, the discovery of all the new things in my life. I feel excited and panicked too as I don’t want the days to go by too quickly.

It’s so important that you have time out to let your mind breathe. I stayed at a hotel with a friend on Saturday night, I was away for 24 hours but that time away, gave me fresh perspective, enabled me to just relax and be and talk and laugh and do all the things that I need to make me tick. So when I came back on Sunday, I couldn’t wait to immerse myself into the family again and I also missed them, which made me appreciate what I have so much more.

I feel so excited today, that I just wanted to jump up and down with excitement, I want to dance, I want to sing, I want to look up at the sky and just thank my lucky stars for everything I have…. I am not going to feel like this every day but I love days like this and I’m going to fully embrace it with a big massive bear hug!

Why is the world so cruel

Thu, 08 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Bit of a sad blog this morning but although it makes me feel sad, it makes me live my life even more then I did yesterday.

I read two stories this morning of people that had lost their lives so tragically in two seperate incidents in South London, a woman and her nephew tragically killed by someone being chased by police in a stolen car and another young 30 year old who died after one fatal blow on a night out in Blackheath, How can live be so cruel like this? If I think about this too much, I can get so upset as it makes you realise that you could just be in the wrong place at the wrong time and your life could be over, not just yourself but any of your loved ones too. It seriously scares me to think of how many people in the world that are capable of commiting crimes like this. With all the awful stories that you hear about terrosism too, you could literally never leave your house for fear of something bad happening. You need to talk yourself out of it though, because we have our lives and have to live it to our best until our time is up.... I do try and live each day like it's my last and not because i'm depressed but because I am so thankful for the life that I have and so greatful for every minute.

http://www.mummysginfund.co.uk/fundraising-memory-gin-funders-families/

Amazing what you find on your doorstep

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Wow, what a difference a day makes. I am feeling so much more like myself today and have had such an amazing morning. I intended on today being a 'slow' day, the morning hasn't quite worked out like that! Left the house before 9 and met a friend for coffee. We had a lovely chat and without even meaning too, did a bit of coaching which I loved. Was told I was so inspirational and infectious and they loved being around me, it's so lovely to hear and I love inspiring people and it feels so good, I still don't really understand how I do it but it's nice to hear such lovely things and it makes me feel so alive. I love the idea of being a life coach but I can't do everything and that's what I struggle with as I want to do it all. I walked home from town and thought I would look for a room that I could rent... found one and it looks perfect so good to know I have it if I need it!

Thought I would pop into the local business centre on the way home and have a moosy around and so glad I did. I stumbled upon the quartely network events for SME's - a nice bit of networking, followed by a talk and lunch. I hadn't registered so I left and then thought, I can talk my way into this so off I went back in I asked if I could join and 5 minutes later I was chatting everyone's heads off and handing out my business cards. I have lived around the corner from this place for three years and never been in! I met so many lovely contacts and have lots of other events planned in for the next few months which is great! Just shows you... don't ignore the things that are under your nose and sometimes when you intend to live a day in the slow lane, you need to grab the opportunities that come your way. What it did make me realise though is that I do have so many skills that I could offer people/companies but I don't want to be the jack of all trades and master of none but I love the idea of doing lots of the things I love all the time... that's what September is about I suppose, figuring it all out and I am going to have fun doing it! What will the afternoon bring..... exciting times!

Living Life In The Slow Lane

Tue, 06 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

So day two into my new chapter and I’m not going to lie, I am going a bit stir crazy! I am so used to living life in the fast lane, I definitely think I am going to take time to adjust.

Before 9am today, I got Emily ready and saw them off to Nursery and Work, meditated for ten minutes, did a kettlebell workout, hung the washing out, showered, got dressed, danced around to the dirty dancing soundtrack and then sat there and thought, I’m sure I could have taken my time over this a bit more but I am so used to squeezing so much in, I’m not used to having time. I crave time to myself but when it is here, I find the silence deafening. I need to learn to chill in my own company for a bit and not to feel guilty. This is something I will be working on in September!

I want meditation to be part of my life and i really think it makes a difference. I managed ten minutes today and that was tough even though I listened to a guided one - to be truthful at the end, I was falling asleep and what I should have done is said to myself have a little nap, why not but no instead I said get yourself up Kerry, too much to be done today. I don't like to sit still, there is too much of life to explore...i almost feel stressed with all that I want to do and feel like I am running out of time. I have felt like that for a while and that's why I left my job I suppose, life is so short so you have to do everything you can. So with that in mind, I am going to try and enjoy today, enjoy the silence, enjoy the head space and do the jobs that I have set out to do and get somethings organised as there are just so many opportunities out there for me to explore. Had a text from a good friend today that re affirmed why I am doing this, I have been brave and bold to do what I have done, this is about a new chapter and a new life for me so I need to just get on with it.

Music really is good for the soul

Tue, 06 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Today I woke up feeling a bit low, not much motivation and after a day of very loud music and singing, I feel a lot more like me again. How amazing is it that a good song can change a mood in an instance. I've realised how much I have missed music, It's been in my life, in the background but I love music to be loud, I like to feel every note and sing my heart out and that's exactly what I have done today. The neighbours are out as well as the other half who always asks me to turn it down, the volume has been high and I have been singing like i'm performing on the stage at Glastonbury, I can dream! I won't be doing that anytime soon but I have always wanted to join a choir so have contacted a few locally so watch this space, I may just get to fulfil another dream soon and do something that I love every day!