A day of conscious sensual kink

Sensual conscious kink – I didn’t really know what that really meant, I knew about BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism - think fifty shades if you don’t know what that means) and I have dabbled in this. The combination of sensual and kink is a perfect match for me and after a day full of so much thought and so much desire and fulfilment, I feel blessed to have experienced it
One of the questions I was asked today is how do I want to be touched? I am normally ok with this question in one of my Tantra workshops but in this setting there was so much to explore….so much depth and so many ideas.
I have experienced quite a few toys and types of kinky touch in the bedroom with mark but never in this intimate setting where I had so much choice to explore the depths and edges of myself
Over lunch, I was feeling a little impatient and eagerly waiting for more experience but I was also in deep reflection about my life at home and how much I love it and how much I love Mark and the journey we are on together, it’s so much softer and we are so considerate of each other now.
I always get asked, how does he let you do this stuff on your own? Is he ok with it?
The real truth is, he is and we talk about everything from both of our perspectives. I remember this time last year, I never considered mark as much as I do now, it was all about me and the craziness I was feeling inside. It’s now about us both, we really consider each other and we really listen, we communicate and we hear each other.
So back to today, I am most definitely outside my comfort zone but I am intrigued, excited and feel very connected to myself. So I decided I would be happiest going last so I could really learn from others and feel into it a bit more.
The thing is I have had so many ideas in my head about scenes I would love to play out, fantasies and dreams but the thought of it being a reality is something else
Being in a giving role is a default for me and I loved being able to explore a more dominant side of myself, definitely like the idea of exploring that further in the world of kink. I have always been quite dominant in character but also quite enjoy being in more submissive role, think it all depends on what mood I am in really and that’s the joy of really knowing yourself and how you are in that moment and also know this can change too.
So now it was my turn, I felt like I had waited forever for this moment. I knew exactly what I wanted but I was scared to communicate it at first, I suppose it was fear of judgement, fear of them thinking ‘blimey, she wants that?!’
First I had to have a word with myself though as I was so nervous but I knew this was the ideal space for me to try this and it was ok if I didn’t like it and could stop it at any time. I was in complete control here and once I had communicated it, I felt so empowered, I had visualised this picture of myself and here I was asking for it.
The beautiful beings I worked with were amazing. They were so present, they really met me and did exactly what I wanted, said the words I wanted to hear. The space was wonderfully held and I knew I could explore all the edges of this experience.
I experienced pain, so much pleasure and I was awakened through all of myself, it was exhilarating, pulsating every part of me, I was alive, I was met with everything I desired and I felt euphoric.
Wow, wow, wow, how did all that happen in 15 minutes
Afterwards, I asked for some space to I can really feel the ripples of that pleasure through me and space to accept what came. I then asked to be held and feel the warmth of the people that had given me everything I desired
My first experience of conscious sensual kink and it has opened up another dimension of my journey and I just can’t wait to explore more.
I am now sitting on the grass outside a beautiful church, the energy here is so powerful, I feel so enriched and so blessed with all I am experiencing now.
I am really yearning for my mark though, I just want to snog his face off and might even ask him to spank me when I get home…. ha-ha, now there’s a nice thought!
On my way home, I listened to the radio– the first two songs were perfect for the way I was feeling, first the pointer sisters…. I felt every word and sang my heart out
Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll put all other things aside
Give in this time and show me some affection
We're goin' for those pleasures in the night
I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you
And then Lisa Stansfield Change came on which made me cry with happiness
If I could change the way I live my life today
I wouldn't change a single thing
'Cause if I changed my world into another place
I wouldn't see your smiling face
Absolutely perfect songs for how I was feeling in that moment
I really wouldn't change a thing
I’m now home, with my beautiful family with a new sense of fulfilment and enriched beyond even the words I have expressed here.









