I’m a trauma survivor and I’m surviving

My trip down memory lane this week stirred lots of trauma in me and sometimes it comes up when you least expect it, because it’s time and you are ready to go there
And the reality is when you embody everything that arises in you, you can go from euphoria of announcing your going on TV to being on the floor and I’m ok with that because it’s all energy and it’s moving
I came away to university in Stoke on Trent when I was 18 years old and it felt like a million miles away from home and I was running. I was trying to start my life again and leave behind the person that I was because I never accepted that part of me
I never knew that at the time that’s what I did but the trauma never stopped it followed me and it became my normal and university was the perfect place to numb it - drinking, drugs, busy busy busy, so much fun but I wasn’t being true to me
Whilst I sit here finalising my book, the trauma that has rising in me these last couple of days knocked me sideways, I knew I was meant to come to back here and now I know why
I’ve cried, I’ve shaken, I’ve been sick, reached out for support and I’ve had flashbacks to past trauma that I wish I’d forgotten but I’ve let it move because I choose freedom these days and I feel so much better already
There is no such thing as being fixed and I welcome in more snot, tears and euphoria of whatever else comes my way
I’m a trauma survivor and surviving ✨❤️









