Are you numb to Love?

What is love? It’s a question that would have a different answer for everyone and maybe something that we can sometimes not even define.
I always thought I loved myself and it was only when I stopped making myself busy and realised when I took all that busyness away that I never loved myself, not really, not deep down. I filled my days up doing so much for others, always keeping busy raising money for charities, giving back to others and literally sitting still thinking, who can I help next – anything that would detract from myself and getting to know me, the real me and the me that I was really running away from.
I had some real negative feelings about myself that I was actually quite shocked to realise, I felt disgusting, I felt fat & ugly and I felt unworthy of love.
My biggest breakthrough on my journey was when I realised that I didn’t love myself
I only realised this last year
Since then, I have really worked at knowing the reasons why and releasing this from my energy as little did I know that this was really holding me back in my life
Looking back, I remember never going for new jobs in my career because I just felt blessed with what I earned already and thought I had enough, I always wanted to step forward for every opportunity but sometimes the voices in my head sabotaged it, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t deserve it but the thing was, these voices were my norm, they were part of me, I didn’t know any different, I never knew these thoughts were not serving me
Receiving love was also a real struggle for me, whenever I received a compliment, I would never accept it and just chuck a compliment right back at someone, if anyone gave me a gift, I would be racked with guilt and almost immediately start thinking, I should give this to someone else, what can I buy them to say thank you…
I was unable to really receive love from someone because I didn’t feel worthy of that love, I was protecting myself, I was blocked and I was numbing myself from really feeling anything that may hurt me
I know the reasons why, it is all to do with my past experiences and although my new awakened state can be challenging at times as I feel everything, I would take this every day over the numbness that I felt before and I know now that I have a new found love for myself, I don’t put myself down, I look after me because I know how precious my life is and I want to feel great all the time and if I don’t I find out why and release it
Does this resonate with anyone? Are you able to receive love, not just from others but from yourself as well? Do you let yourself feel love but I mean really feel it? So when someone hugs you, do you let yourself feel their arms around you and feel the warmth of the love they are giving you?
Take time today to really understand how you feel about love and is it something you find easy or hard to receive?
Learning to love yourself and to receive love is a practice and it is something that I work on daily and once you start it, it becomes your life, I now open my arms and my heart fully to receive. Love is one of the things that lights me up and I give myself permission every day to be more present with life and to feel all the love that comes my way.
It always starts with us first though, are you loving yourself unconditionally and if not, why? How can you receive love from anyone else, if you don't love who you are.
Let’s start loving ourselves more today, acknowledge how you are feeling? Write down everything that comes up for you when you think about love, what do you need that will make you feel better? Could be a nice bath, having an afternoon nap, eating something yummy that you’ve fancied for ages, whatever that looks like for you, Let’s stop, listen, accept all that we are and give ourselves some love today because we really are worthy of it.
When someone hugs you, take a breath and really feel them hold you and accept that love with love, if someone gives you a complement, simply say thank you and let it land in you and notice how different it feels just to accept it.
The more you practice, the more it will become a way of life giving you a stronger sense of connection with yourself and all the beautiful people around you.
Want to learn how to love yourself more? Come and join my Facebook community where I share the ways I have practiced this and so much more
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