Apparently I'm the white stuff that holds it all together

Today I had a lay in after Ems being up loads in the night but woke up not feeling great to be honest. Felt really stressed out, anxious, angry, sad and just didn't feel like I wanted today to be here and didn't have the energy to do my normal workout
Was fed up being the one that has to think of everything, to keep the kids busy, clean the house , do the washing, think of what our day looked like and everyone was driving me mad especially Mark
I felt shattered, exhausted and I was so out of flow, I had a choice, stay like this or do something about it
* I reached out to one of my groups on whatsapp and just blurted out how I was feeling and said I would like support - I got it
* told the family I was going to have some time and do my energy work, I did some emotional release work which was amazing, I screamed, I released anger and sadness, I then laid down and had a rest
* I sat down with Mark and told him what supported I needed
* The kids now playing together nicely, the house feels calmer and I feel a whole lot better and I just remembered something Joseph said to me yesterday when I said I'm going away to the beach for a few days when this is over
He said, "Kel, you can't go away, your like the white stuff in the middle of an Oreo, you hold everything together "
Wow, he has never said anything like that to me before, I was quite taken back. I absolutely know I am the white bit but I also recognise that some days being the white bit is hard and sometimes you want to be the one holding on ... that's how I feel today but it's ok, I am letting myself feel it
Sharing as we all have days like that, and it's ok to not be your bubbly self all the time and put yourself first .. that's what I'm doing today x
Loads of love xx









